


Heartbeat [narry storan | au]

by littleireland



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: College, Hybrid Niall, Innocent Niall, M/M, Punk Harry, Teenagers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-01-01
Updated: 2014-06-19
Packaged: 2018-01-06 20:20:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 18
Words: 30,220
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1111102
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/littleireland/pseuds/littleireland
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>❝when we have each other, we have everything...❞</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. prologue

Today's the day. I'm literally shaking in my shoes. Well I haven't got them on yet but you get it. It's the first day of the rest of my life. 

College.

You'd think I'd be excited but I'm anything but that. I'm silently preparing myself for high school all over again. I'm mostly a loner but trust me, it isn't by choice.

"Niall get your ass down here!" Mary, said best friend, yells at me from downstairs. I've known her since the first day of the summer before freshman year. That's when I first moved to this sorry ass town of Portland. She was the first person that spoke to me and honestly, she had scared the hell out of me. 

I chuckle to myself remembering her brief punk stage she was going through when she met me. Lip rings, a rod through her tongue, and her flaming blue hair whipping all around her face in angry curls. Not that she was unattractive, she was beautiful, I just don't swing that way. 

Yep, go ahead, make fun of me for being homosexual. I don't care. Well I do, but you'd never guess it. I'm good at hiding things now. I have to be. Considering what I've got to hide...

Mary is also the only one who knows about the tail that sprouts from my jeans when I wiggle out of them and the ears that can stick up whenever I'm angry, or sad. Or randomly while I'm watching a movie and not concentrating on keeping them pressed to my bleached hair. 

That's exactly what happened a few months ago. We'd been watching The Lucky One and I was shamelessly checking out Zac Effron when Mary spoke up.

"What the hell is poking out of the side of your head Niall?"

I still remember it like it was yesterday. 

Mary didn't judge me, didn't scream, didnt run away. After explaining what I was and still am she simply sat there and played with the kitten ears and watched my tail flick around happily. 

I can't explain why I am the way I am. My parents don't understand me either. My dad thinks I'm a freak and my poor mom is caught in the middle of choosing between her son or her husband. You'd think that'd be an easy decision right? Wrong. 

"Come on cat boy time to take you to your first day of big boy school." Mary coos to me sarcastically. I turn to find her leaning against the doorway to my bedroom and roll my eyes at her.  
So I guess you could say my life is a little complicated.


	2. 1.

I finish packing my bags with a few minutes to kill before Mary drags me down the hall and out the door where the car is waiting to deliver me to my new hell.

I tried to avoid the whole college thing altogether a few months back at the end of my senior year of high school but my parents wouldn’t have any of that. I don’t blame them but I’m really dreading this. High school was bad enough and I barely made it through that alive. But, nevertheless, I did and now I’m sitting here awaiting my doom.

Yet there is a small sliver of hope in me that things will brighten up for me. Maybe I won’t get shunned for my sexuality this year? That’d be enough to make me happy in itself. I hope I get a decent roommate as well. The headmaster at Oregon State University refused to tell anyone who their roommate was because it was supposed to ‘heighten the excitement.’ Or some shit like that. He seems like a wackjob if I do say so myself, but who am I to judge?

I’m not sure how things will go without Mary though. She really is my best friend. One of my only friends really. She has settled down quite a bit though, no more punk rocker looks and piercings, though she does still have a belly button ring and a rod through her eyebrow. She tried to convince me to get my lip pieced, she said it would make me look sexy, but I despise the things. Who would want to purposely shove a piece of cold hard metal through your lip? Not me.

Mary promised to visit me though but I made her promise not to hit on my roommate, reluctantly she agreed. I specifically asked for a male roommate hoping that we could be friends instead of me hanging out with girls all the time. I doubt I’ll be the only gay person at the college so maybe I can fit into some sort of group.

I wouldn’t have had a roommate at all if it was up to me, but since there were no more single dorms left, I have a roomie now. A roommate just makes it harder to keep my little secret. I might give him a heart attack if he sees me go all feline on him.

The positive thing about being a hybrid though is that you pretty much have the same agility, senses, and traits of feline. For instance, my hearing, vision, and sense of smell are all heightened. I figured that out through multiple ‘experiments’ Mary tried on me. Like I said, she didn’t freak out when she found out; she wanted to play with me like a toy…

On the downside of getting all these cat traits, I also go into heat.

I shudder at the thought, not wanting to picture my most intimate feline characteristic.

“Niall, let’s go!” Mary calls from downstairs yet again. Great. This is really happening.

I utter out a muffled ‘coming’ to her through the Beats headphones I have clamped in between my teeth and drag the rest of my belongings down the stairs. Mary is waiting for me at the front steps of the house with the door slung wide open and impatiently tapping her foot.

She helps me load my stuff into her small Jeep and embark on the hour drive from Portland to OSU.

“I’m so excited for you.” She breathes out as she drives.

“Uh, why?” I ask her sarcastically but instantly regret it. I know Mary would give anything to be in my shoes right now. She is staying back to go to the community college and work until she can afford to join me at OSU. Her parents couldn’t afford to send her to a four year university. “Sorry, Mary.” I apologize before I have the chance to jam my foot into my mouth again.

She waves me off before plastering her white smile back onto her face. I love Mary for this. Despite her harsh appearance, she is surprisingly forgiving and kind. “Whatever cat boy, d’you think you’ll meet Mr. Perfect while you’re at college?”

I mentally slap Mary. She is always trying to set me up with someone. “Maybe, at least you won’t be there to send me on ridiculous blind dates.” I tease earning a screw-you look from Mary.

“You loved when I did that.”

I scoff at her. “Okay whatever you say.” I turn up her radio and sing along to San Francisco by the Mowgli’s. Mary makes a disgusted face at my choice of music but I just flip her off.

We drive for about an hour while I listen to Mary ramble on and on about her last boyfriend and whether she should go all the way or not. I can’t help but feel slightly jealous. I’ve never been in a relationship before. People have always teased me about my taste in men never welcomed it. Of course I’ve had crushes before. I always seem to go for the good church going preppy boys that would throw holy water on a dead cat for lying. Literally. I swoon over the cardigan wearing, shoe shining boys that seem to have their lives in order and stable. That’s all I want really, stability.

“That’s fantastic Mary but please pay attention to the road before you miss my turn.”

“Stop being bitchy before I turn this car around and take you back home.” She looks at me sternly.

“Go ahead.” I counter.

Before I can process what’s going on, the Jeep lurches forward at the sudden pressure on the brakes and Mary, being the smart ass she is, is doing a U-turn on the freeway.

“What the hell Mary stop!” I yell at her but she just shakes her head.

“Apologize for being a little asshole.”

I groan but apologize anyways. “I hate you.”

“Love you more babe.” She smiles as me as she drives.

Scratch that, Mary is a complete nut. “You’re mental.”

Eventually we make it to Oregon State Uni and Mary finds a space in the packed parking lot. Already I see a swarm of college students swarming about the dorms. Most of them look pretty sane I guess. They are all mingling with their friends while me on the other hand, knows no one.

The first thing I spot after I nearly tumble out of the raised Jeep and receive a cackling laugh from Mary, is a pack of boys and a few girls staring at everyone. Their arms are sleeved in tattoos. I can already tell that their faces will be matching with various painful metals poking through the skin. I shudder. They look intimidating. I scan the group briefly so I can remember who to stay away from while I’m here the quickly turn away unnoticed.

“What dorm is it?” Mary asks as she tosses a suit case out of the trunk.

“Hey watch that!” I scold. “And um, 21A I think?”

“You think? Niall you’re in college now you’re going to have to be a lot more sure of yourself than that.” She looks up at me with her deep chocolate eyes.

It’s only a sentence but it has about five different meanings. Mary is a very deep thinker but has a bad habit of acting on impulse, hence what happened on the freeway on the way here.

“I know.” I let out a shaky breath and take the handle of a suit case in my hand while my best friend grabs the other.

We struggle to lug the suitcases up stairs and I’m thankful I’m on the second floor, right above the boy’s dorm advisory.

The college mailed me a letter that had my room key in it a few days back so once we reach 21A I quickly swipe the card and let myself in.

The dorm is plain and empty. An ugly off white paints the walls surrounding the small twin beds on either side of the small room. Posters of various rock bands I’ve never heard of litter the walls. Well, I can’t say I’m thrilled. I notice a TV in the corner that is possible from the stone age. Speaking of stoners, it smells like weed in here.

“Welcome home!” Mary calls smugly from behind me. “It’s so nice.”

“It isn’t that bad, come on, be positive.” I tap my temple for emphasis. “I wonder where my roommate is.”

“Probably shooting up.” I roll my eyes at her. “I don’t know how I feel about you going here, I can already tell by the time you leave you’re going to be a stage one alcoholic, listen to Nirvana, and have your arm slung around some punk with a lip ring.”

“What? You know I can’t stand lip rings.” I understand why she is being protective because honestly, this place is not what I expected it to be. I expected preppy little white kids with their noses in the air and flaunting their new Prada bags their rich parents bought them. I can’t decide if this is better or worse.

“Yes mother.” I tease back at her.

“We both know that if your mother was here she would have Bobby sling you over his shoulder and walk your ass back home if needed.” I laugh at the mental image of my dad carrying me over his shoulder while I kick and scream. I’m glad they didn’t come today because Mary is right. This would be my first and last day of OSU.

“Yeah yeah, put yourself to use and help me unpack will ya?” I ask as I walk over to the desk and set up my iPhone and speaker dock. I switch it on to some indie station on 8Tracks.

She nods and hands me my black snap back. “Might wanna put this on.”

“Shit.” I snatch the cap from her and carefully place it on my head, ensuring my kitten ears are obscured from view. “Forgot.”

“I figured.” She begins unpacking my suitcase while I start on the other. “Just be careful, okay?”

I look up surprised at Mary’s sudden concern for my wellbeing and see a pair of watery brown eyes. “Aw Mary stop or you’ll make me cry.” I walk over to her and pull her into a tight hug. She buries her face into my neck.

“I’m gonna miss you idiot.” She breathes and for a second I don’t know whether to be insulted or feel special. I decide on the latter.

“I’ll miss you too but I’ll visit whenever I can, yeah?” I squeeze her a little tighter.

“Am I interrupting something?”

I quickly jump away from Mary and meet the rude voice. I pray to god that this boy isn’t my roommate.

He stares at me uncaringly with forest green eyes with his lips slightly pursed in a light pink pout. His curly hair is tucked into a dark blue beanie and his hands are shoved into the pockets of his black skinny jeans.

I recognize him from the group of punks that were sat outside the school when we arrived. His arms are covered in various and seemingly random tattoos and he indeed has a lip ring along with an eyebrow piercing.

“Hello? Are you deaf of something?” He rolls his eyes and walks over to the desk where my iPhone is playing barely audible music. With a flick of his fingers he turns it off and turns back to glare at me.

“Oh sorry, I’m Niall. This is Mary.” I gesture to Mary who is returning the boy’s glare. I want to reach over and pinch her for being rude because if this douche is my roommate, I want to stay on peaceful grounds.

“Ok? Why are you in my room then?” He counters with his eyes narrowed into slits.

“This is my room too.” I try to make my voice hard but it comes out shaky and very unintimidating.

He looks me up and down, disgust evident on his face. “Perfect.” He says sarcastically before turning on his heels and exiting the room. Before walking down the hall, he grabs the doorway and glares at me again. “Don’t touch my things.”

As soon as he leaves the room I already feel two thousand times better. I feel like I can breathe again.

What the hell was this guy’s problem?

“Well he’s…lovely.” Mary offers.


	3. 2.

“He’ll come around Niall don’t worry.” Mary touches my arm after the big ball of anger has left the room.

“Come around my ass!” I yell sarcastically.

“That can be misconstrued in so many ways,” Mary snickers.

“I don’t know what his problem is, he doesn’t even know me!” I let out a frustrated sigh. “I don’t even know his name or have had a decent conversation with the guy and he’s already being a dickhead Mary. Fan-fucking-tastic.”

“Watch it,” Mary scolds my colorful vocabulary. “Maybe he was just in a bad mood?”

I roll my eyes and shrug her off.

This is perfect. I’m not even into the first day of school and I already have someone who doesn’t like me. Way to go Niall.

And that asshole happens to be my roommate.

I debate whether I should just drop out now or wait a week or so. Who was I kidding? Making friends. I tut to myself in dark humor.

As if Mary has a tap into my brain she coos at me soothingly, “That’s only one person; there are thousands of people that go to this school.”

“You’re right I guess, but I’ve got to live with that guy.”

“Just stop worrying your pretty little head cat boy.” She pinches my cheeks a little before continuing to help me unpack. I don’t really put much ever to actually unpack anything though. I just toss what few clothes I brought from home onto the open twin bed and shove the suit case under my bed.

I hadn’t brought many clothes because I wanted to buy clothes when I got here. I was in need of a wardrobe update anyway. My brightly colored tops and jeans weren’t doing much for me anyway besides making me look more gay than I already am. Trust me; I don’t need help with that according to Mary. She says my clothes make me look like a square.

“He doesn’t look like the type to hang around home too much anyway.” Mary calls to me.

“You think?” She just nods.

Well if he wasn’t planning on staying here why would he go through the trouble of paying for a dorm? The dorms were probably one of the most expensive things here at OSU. Even though it’s unlikely, I pray Mary is right. I’d rather be alone than room with him.

Mary leaves after a while of trying to lighten my mood. I’m left to sit inside the dorm alone for now and decide to listen to my iPhone that my roommate turned off. In my angry mood I listen to Afraid by The Neighbourhood.

So far it looks like Mary is right. Not a soul comes into the room and it is already well past dinner time.

I don’t risk taking my snapback off though. It’d be just my luck to take it off and somebody burst in doing a room check or something.

Wearing the cap is a little painful though. The little sensitive tips on my head aren’t meant to be wedged beneath a tight hat all day, nor is my tail meant to be jammed into my jeans.

While contemplating what to do about my kitten parts, I realize I haven’t put much thought into this whole thing. Of course, I knew bunking with someone would mean it would be harder for me to keep my secret but this is nearly impossible.

What if someone would barge in and see me just as I let my guard down? I can’t risk that. They’d probably carry me out on a stretcher and shove needles into my pale skin like an animal.

And telling my roommate about me was definitely not an option.

I shudder at the thought.

College sure is looking bright so far. Note the sarcasm.

I grumble from my stomach tears me away from my worrisome thoughts. I hadn’t realized how hungry I was. But then again, it hadn’t really been a top priority of mine to face the cafeteria alone.

I reluctantly sit up off my small bed and slip on a pair of white trainers and check my reflection in the mirror. I’ve got slight purplish circles under my eyes but that is nothing out of the ordinary. I smooth the wrinkles out of my t-shirt and exit the tiny room.

The hallways are mostly empty and the walk to the cafeteria is short, I find out after asking one of the guys at the office in the dorm advisory.

He was cute. Sort of. Not really my type though. He had extremely dark hair, almost a raven color with matching dark eyes. His olive toned skin was really what got my attention. He looked like a Hollister model or something. On the downside, he looked much like my roommate did. Tattoos, piercings, the whole lot. He seemed nice enough though.

When I get to café, it’s equally empty. I swear if you look closely you’ll see a tumbleweed any second now.

I grab a bag of crisps and a Sundrop before settling down at one of the empty tables. This, I could get use to.

Like I said, I’m use to being a loner so being here by myself isn’t really new to me. It’s sort of nice really. The cool quietness of the room calms my anger from earlier. I feel myself relaxing slowly so I can actually breathe properly instead of heaving in short panicked huffs.

Maybe I can spend my whole school year like this? By myself and shut off from the rest of the noisy students.

I can picture my mother now, “But you won’t get the full experience of college if you don’t try to make friends Niall.”

Not that I necessarily put it on my to-do list to make friends, but I know she’s right.

I sigh and finish up the crisp that was dangling from my fingers while I was temporarily paralyzed in thought.

My ears here it first. A few very distinct voices echoing off the walls of the cafeteria. Then I see them out of the corner of my eye. I turn to see the emo punk jackass pack of boys walking into the building mumbling to themselves quietly.

Surprisingly they’ve all got foreign accents that are similar to my Irish accent. They seem a tad more British though. Especially the curly headed boy’s. Posh even.

After listening for a few seconds I realize that voice is one I recognize. What do you know, my roomie is here.

They snatch up a table a few feet away from mine. As hard as I try not to, I can’t keep my eyes from wondering to each of them.

I don’t recognize any accept for my green eyed roommate but then my eyes meet the dark eyes of the dorm advisory boy. He smiles slightly before returning to his conversation with the rest of the tattooed delinquents.

How could a boy as nice as him, hang out with _them?_ It doesn’t make any sense. They probably corrupt him more and more every minute he spends with them. I roll my eyes and shake my head.

“Problem?”

I nearly choke on the Sundrop I’m drinking as I realize one of them is talking to me. I look up to meet a set of murky green eyes for the second time today.

“No?” I return after recovering. He just smirks darkly at me before turning away and taking a seat beside a brown headed boy. This boy has short hair that is sort of poised into a quiff. The sides are slightly buzzed.

I hear them laughing while the curly headed boy speaks. “He’s my roommate. Fucking queer.” He murmurs with no shame even though I’m literally right behind him.

I clear my throat which makes them laugh harder.

Was it that obvious? And what was he, a homophobe?

The olive toned boy nudges him with his elbow and gives him a stern look. “You don’t have to be so mean Harry.” He mumbles and quickly looks down at the table where his hands have suddenly become the most interesting things in the world.

So his name is Harry. Well at least I know what to call the twat.

Wait, is he sticking up for me?

“What’s your problem Zayn?” Harry’s captivating eyes bear down on Zayn. “You got a crush on him or something?”

I don’t hold back when I get up and shove the flimsy table a few feet away from me as I stand. I’ve heard enough. Four pairs of eyes turn to look at me, a startled expression playing on their features at my outburst. I don’t direct my anger to anyone but Harry. He returns my glare while a stupid smirk starts to tug at one corner of his mouth.

What I do hold back though is the wetness pricking up at the corners of my eyes.

I angrily walk over to the trash bin that is set up by the door. I toss the nearly fun soda can and half eaten bag of crisps inside it.

While I stomp out I vaguely hear Zayn, I think that’s his name talking with Harry. “You’re a dick.”

“Whatever.” The posh accent grumbles back.

When I get back to the dorm I’m fuming and crying all at the same time. My feelings aren’t hurt though; I’m used to getting teased. I’m just that angry.

I swiftly swipe my card through the slot and twist the door open, letting it slam against the wall when it opens. I hurriedly slam it back shut twisting the lock as well.

I tug off my cap and slip on a pair of oversized basketball shorts so my tail can swing freely.

I walk over to Harry’s side of the room and stand on his bed. I don’t care if my shoes track dirt onto it. In fact, I hope I get his bed filthy. I reach up and rip down his posters he has hanging on the walls. Ripping most of them in half in my crazed rage.

I blink my eyes furiously so that I can see properly. My tail whips around furiously back and forth. I feel my ears pressed flatly against my hair.

I feel a hiss erupt from my throat as I continue to dig my nails in and scratch at Harry’s wall.

“Fucking prick,” I growl out.


	4. 3.

After my little temper tantrum last night, I completely passed out. I guess all the crying and yelling at no one in particular really tired me out. I felt a little better than I had last night. I can’t say the same for our bedroom though.

I had completely shredded Harry’s posters and there where claw marks striped up and down the walls. I smirk slightly at my handy work. I couldn’t help it though; I was beyond pissed off last night.

Harry has no reason to treat me the way he is. I can only imagine how differently things would have been if he would have walked in while I was in full blown attack mode.

Trust me; you do not want to be around me when I’m angry like that.

I usually don’t let things get to me like that though. I guess what really done me in was when he asked Zayn if he had a crush on me. Zayn didn’t even know me and was only sticking up for me. At least he had some decency about him.

I sit up in my bed slowly, disregarding the slight pain in my muscles. Damn, I must have really gotten worked up.

Mary was correct by the way, Harry didn’t come back to the dorm to sleep or even get a change of clothes. I can’t imagine who’d willingly let him stay the night with them. Maybe some flock of sluts that follow him around like birds, aren’t girls into douche bags anyways?

After stumbling over a few items of furniture that had no chance of survival in last night’s rant, a lamp and nightstand, I begin to pick up the dorm. When I finish I gather my things for a shower. Hopefully that’ll relax me and my stiff joints.

When I get into the shower room, yes everyone takes showers in these little stalls with flimsy curtains, it’s mostly empty except for a few guys whipping each other with towels and yelping like girls. I thought I was supposed to be the gay guy?

I shrug my shoulders at the giddy boys and nearly bust my ass trying to get into the tiny shower. I let the warmness envelope my body. I turn the water on as hot as it’ll go, not minding the slight stinging sensation. I mentally run over my plans for today.

My classes begin today and my first one is creative writing, then I head across campus to music composition, after that I have English literature. Lastly, I have historical sciences. I want to have some sort of English or writing degree so I’m okay with those classes but my last one is just a filler really. I needed an elective and that was one of the only classes left open besides physical education. I was not about to take that god forsaken class.

Mary told me historical science was going to be an interesting class because they talk about how people use to believe in witches and mythical creatures. I don’t see what’s so interesting about that. I’m not into all that dark magic crap. I figure I’ll be in there with a bunch of Pokémon nerds and bottle cap collectors.

I inhale and smile at the banana scent of my body wash. I lather up with it and watch it swirl down the drain. I love bananas. Get you head out of the gutter… Fruit bananas.

I jump when I hear a rustle beside me but relax again when I realize it’s just someone opening the shower next to me. I hear the water running for a bit. I’m finished with my shower but I don’t want to have an awkward stare off with another naked boy, so I wait till I hear the water shut off and footsteps out of the shower room before I make an effort to get out.

I reach outside the thin curtain barrier that separates my naked body from the rest of the dorm and grab one of my fluffy white towels from home. I figured I might as well bring my own things so I can have a sense of comfort and security while I’m here.

I carefully towel off my small kitten ears, my upper body, legs, and finally my pestering tail which proves to be harder said than done since its whipping around aimlessly like a little mad man.

I wrap a towel around my head like a girl would and let the other hang loosely around my waist. I quickly remove the slight stubble forming on my chin and cheeks before dashing back inside my own dorm room.

It’s empty but looks, different. It is a lot neater than it was when I left it.

I place my hands on my hips and inspect the room further. My clothes that were strewn across the floor from when I hastily undressed last night are folded like my mother would and placed neatly on my bed. Speaking of my bed, it looks like someone made the bed. What the hell?

Further investigation reveals Harry’s side of the room looks nowhere as near as bad as it did when I left a few minutes ago. The posters that were previously to what I thought had been beyond repair, are now taped back together and rehung on the walls. His bed is made as well.

Suddenly the aroma of cologne fills my nostrils. Oh god that smells good. I could be you a thousand dollars that my pupils are blown right now just from the intoxicating smell. Stupid hyperactive feline senses.

I try to shake the scent out of my head but it isn’t going anywhere. My nose can almost pinpoint the exact smells. It’s a mixture of a woodsy smell, with a hint of peppermint and a splash of cinnamon. It is heavenly.

I shake my head again and yank off the towel so I can get dressed. While I dress, I can’t help but wonder who straighten up the room. Maybe we have room service and I just didn’t know about it?

I dismiss it with a shrug of my shoulders before looking in the mirror. I have dressed myself in a pair of tan chinos and a white snug fitting sweater. I might look like a knob but its cold here in Oregon. I can’t help but miss the weather in Ireland. At least I had an idea what the weather would be like there. Here, the weather was absolutely bipolar. One day warm, the next day it would be colder than a witch’s tit in a brass bra.

When I go to slip on my loosely tied white Supra my foot stops at a crinkling sound in my left shoe. I reach inside and pull out a wadded up slip of paper. I stuff the paper in my pocket, too lazily to throw it away and stand to style my hair. I run my fingers through it to give it a messy quiff so I don’t have to wear a hat today to cover the second set of ears perched on my head. I can probably keep them molded flat against my head most of the day anyways.

A growl from my stomach, which ends up coming out more like a mewl reminds me to eat something. After grabbing a chocolate chip granola bar I head out of the door with a few spiral notebooks in my hand a couple text books for my classes. I shove them into my bag and sling it over my shoulder.

I walk alone to my first class and when I get there I see it’s already mostly full. This class goes by quickly because most of the time is spent writing little nothings. Music composition is probably my favorite class. We sit there and learn about writing simple songs before the bell dismisses for English literature.

I get there early and see a dark head of hair staring down at his phone from the back of the class. Well, might as well make a friend.

I walk over and introduce myself. When he looks up I realize he is Zayn from yesterday.

“Zayn,” He smiles kindly and offers his hand to me to shake. He gestures to the seat beside him and I take it gratefully.

“Thanks mate,” I return his smile. He turns back to his phone after nodding at me.

I stare around awkwardly till he shoves his white blackberry into his tight fitting jeans, similar to mine. He adjusts his black hoodie and matching beanie before turning to me. I can’t believe how attractive this boy is. His features are so dark yet his personality contrasts his looks so dramatically I could probably get whiplash.

“-yesterday.” He finishes.

“Sorry what?”

He chuckles a little. “I said Niall, sorry about yesterday. Harry isn’t usually like that.”

“Oh yeah?” He nods. “Had me fooled.” I roll my eyes and hear him sigh beside me.

We conjure up a little small talk and I find out Zayn is majoring in English like me. He tells me he and his friends he was with yesterday all saved up money together and used it to fund their college tuition here at OSU. I tell him that is a clever idea which earns me a dazzling smile.

“So what do you say Niall, there is party tomorrow tonight and you’re coming with me.” He smiles at me genuinely.

I nearly choke on the air I’m breathing. “What?” I sputter. “On a school night?”

He rolls his eyes at me. “Yes. Come on, it’ll be fun. You can meet some new people there.”

“I’m not sure those are the kind of people I want to be friends with.” I counter. There was no way I was going to a party.

“Great! It’s settled then. Just text me your dorm number and we can ride together!” He hands me my phone where I see he has just texted himself and added himself as I contact.

“When did you-“I start but Zayn just taps his headphones that are now plugged into his ears.

I give him the finger which he just laughs and winks at. Soon, the professor walks in and keeps me from pressing Zayn any further.

My next class, which I find out is with Zayn, is historical sciences. Zayn and I walk together. He is rambling about how much he likes music and art and I just listen in awe. He really is a beautiful person, it bewilders me how he befriended someone like my roommate.

I find out that the tattoos he is sporting on his arms were designed by him and inked by Harry with a makeshift tattoo kit. He laughs at the horrified look on my face.

“So you just let each other doodle on yourselves?” I say stunned. He nods and stops at a doorway where I can already hear the chattering students before I even walk in. Hello headache.

“Here it is,” Zayn says and leads me into the classroom. Contrary to my suspicions, it is absolutely packed. Like ridiculously full. I hardly think we will ever be able to find a seat.

“Niall, get over here mate.” I turn and realize my olive skinned friend has left me alone in front of the class and is now motioning over towards the back of the room where he is sat with his friends. Oh no.

Maybe I can run out now and they won’t see me?

“Niall! What are you doing? Come on!” Zayn calls again.

Too late to run. If Zayn would just shut up yelling…

“Young man, would you care to take a seat?” I jump at the voice that is suddenly inches from me. I whirl around and my eyes meet the grey eyes of the professor. I gulp and nod awkwardly before I look around.

“There isn’t anywhere left sir.” My voice is meek as I speak. He rolls his eyes before pointing to the seat in front of Harry and beside Zayn.

I let out a sigh in defeat and shuffle over to the only open seat. I ignore the stares and murmurs that spark up around me as I walk. I can tell I’m going to love this class already. Again, sarcasm.

I slump down in the seat. I notice a few snickers from the brown headed boy with the quiff I saw yesterday and another boy who has blue eyes and light brown hair. They don’t think I can hear them. A normal person wouldn’t be able to but of course I could.

They don’t bother me as class drones on and I’m thankful. I’m not even sure what the professor is on about. My short attention span has my eyes wandering over the walls of the room which are covered in posters of shockingly disturbing images. I see a painting of a werewolf biting into a human being, a centaur, vampires and various other things. I shudder. Is this even legal in school?

I vibration from my pocket interrupts my easily swayed thoughts. I tuck into my pocket and pull out my phone. I read over the text from Zayn telling me to pay attention and smile a little. I quickly type back a witty response telling him to do the same.

When I shove it back into my pocket my fingers graze over the slip of paper hastily stowed away in my pocket from this morning. I fish it out and uncrumple it. Once I smooth it out by rubbing it over the desk I realize there is writing on it.

I almost have to squint to read the neat cursive handwriting. If I didn’t know any better I would think it was some ancient script because it was so well written.

After pulling it up to my face and away again a few times I’m finally able to make out the words. Damn why does this person write so small?

_Sorry. Don’t touch my things. –H_

I feel a pair of eyes on the back of my head once I’ve finished reading the note. I turn around to see Harry’s bright green orbs glued on me inquisitively. My face glows crimson at his intense stare before he turns away and pretends to suddenly be intrigued by something the nutty professor just said.

What the actual hell.


	5. 4.

When historical sciences ended yesterday Harry and his groupies fled the classroom before I got a chance to confront him. Much like today.

I don’t understand why he’d go through all the trouble of writing me a note and slipping it in my shoe, of all places, but he wouldn’t talk to me in person.

Why couldn’t he just simply say sorry to my face? Was he that much of a coward? I can’t imagine why he was so repulsed by me. He doesn’t even know me.

Right now I’m leaving historical sciences and heading back to my dorm. Zayn is supposed to pick me up later to go to this party he and his friends will not shut up about. During the whole class I swear I heard the word ‘wasted’ at least fifteen times.

Believe me, I tried to wiggle my way out of going to the party but Zayn told me that I wasn’t a real man if I didn’t go to at least one college party and what better one to go to than the first party of the year.

It’s going to be at some apartment complex reserved especially for OSU students who couldn’t afford to rent out a dorm or just didn’t get registered in time. It’s only a mile or two away from campus which I’m relieved for. If Zayn fulfills his promises to get plastered tonight, I’ll just find my own way home.

After dodging a few cyclists I finally make it back to my own dorm. I shower the day off of me and work on writing the hypothesis due for my term paper in English Lit. Of course it isn’t due until a few months but I’ve already got an idea of what I want it to say so I might as well start it now.

My parents would approve of this, I think to myself. They always pushed me pretty hard when it came to school. I’m not surprised though, that they haven’t called to check on me any. They might care when it comes to my schooling, but not when it comes to my personal life. I guess that’s why they had my grading reports mailed to them monthly.

They whole ‘hey I’m kind of a hybrid mom and dad,’ conversation took them by surprise of course, but they were pretty casual about it. They treated me normal and loved me just as any other parent would. But the ‘I’m gay,’ talk hadn’t gone as smoothly.

My mother wasn’t very judgmental but my father, he is somewhat hypocritical. He didn’t talk to me for a day or so and when he did it was just to tell me that I better not ever bring a _boyfriend_ home.

So naturally, my mother sided with my father.

They didn’t particularly like Mary either but they tolerated her because they thought that maybe she was keeping my mind off dating boys. Little did they know, we would go to the mall and rate every guy we saw from one to ten to ‘damn that ass.’

I chuckle at the memory of Mary. I miss her. We’ve only been apart for three days but it feels like a year.

I’m interrupted from my thoughts by a text from Zayn telling me that he’s on his way up. I glace over at the clock and read that it’s already seven at night.

I hear a knock at the door and open it expecting to see Zayn, instead I see Harry.

“Hi.” I say slowly. I send him a confused look but he just shoulders past me and over to his side of the dorm room. Soon Zayn’s giddy face appears at the door.

“What’s he doing here?” I whisper quietly at the raven haired boy.

“In case you’ve forgotten, this is my room too.” Harry’s deep voice says angrily.

Zayn gives me an apologetic look. I turn around to see Harry shrugging his shirt off and dear god I was not ready for that. After he’s peeled his white t-shirt off, infinite amounts off small tattoos that litter his torso are revealed. Keys, hearts, phrases, and a big ass butterfly, you name it, it’s on there.

He isn’t what I would call buff, but he is definitely toned. My eyes skim over him again to watch his muscles contract and flex while he slips another white t-shirt on. He folds his dirty one up and sets it inside the dirty clothes basket by his bed.

It catches me off guard when his eyes meet mine. His eyebrows are scrunched together, hooding his green irises. “Don’t look at me like that.”

“I wasn’t-“ I go to defend myself but apparently Harry isn’t haven’t any of that. He lifts a hand up to silence me then storms out leaving Zayn and I to stand inside my room awkwardly.

Zayn stares at me for a second before speaking. “Niall, is that what you’re wearing tonight?”

I glance down at my navy top and grey joggers. “What’s wrong with what I’m wearing?” I ask, slightly offended.

“It’s a house party Niall, not a slumber party!” He rolls his eyes before darting inside the closet.

“Zayn! Get outta there!” I yell to him. He replies, but it’s muffled by the walls of clothes surrounding him. He emerges minutes later with some of my new clothes Mary bought me for my last birthday.

“This…. Is sexy.” He holds up the clothes and eyes me with a wide set grin on his face.

“Are you sure you aren’t gay mate?” I smirk at him.

“Shut up and get dressed you little cunt.” He throws the clothing at my face causing me to burst into a fit of laughter.

Zayn told me today in English literature that he was visiting his girlfriend back home soon. She still lives in back in England but insisted Zayn come here without her because she wanted him to live out his dreams. I thought it was cute really the way he blushed whenever he talked about her. I want something like that.

I slip on the white button up t-shirt he’s picked out and the black skinny jeans with it. After turning around multiple times for Zayn’s careful inspection, we head downstairs to where Zayn’s car is waiting. I see Harry perched in the front seat with a pair of headphones resting on his curls and him drumming along to a beat on the dashboard.

“I didn’t know I was bringing him along till a few hours ago. He texted and said he needed a ride for tonight because his dad wouldn’t take him.” Zayn says as we approach the car.

“Why didn’t he just not come?” I counter.

“Harry can’t miss his band’s first gig! He’s lead singer.” Zayn says as if it’s a fact I should have already known this. “White Noise is the shit.”

“I didn’t know he was in a band. They’re good then?” I ask. Somehow I can’t picture Harry in a band. Music is gentle and passionate, Harry is anything but.

“The best.”

I turn to find Harry’s window rolled down and he is speaking to me. His hard facial features have softened a little so he doesn’t look at unapproachable. Kind even.

I offer him a small smile which he rolls his window up at. Well then.

Zayn chuckles and walks to the driver’s side of the car. “I don’t get why he’s such a dick to you.”

 

 

When we arrive at the apartment complex the scene is a mix between loud and somewhat mellow. I can imagine this is what a Woodstock concert would have looked like. You can literally smell the weed and sex in the air.

Zayn leads me through the pulsing bodies while Harry disappears in the opposite direction. I follow his path and soon my eyes meet a small opening where Harry and a few of his friends I recognize from class are setting up a drum set, a bass guitar and an electric one to match. Someones even got a laptop for extra sound effects.

Zayn follows my stare and looks down at me. “They go all out mate. Go hard or don’t go at all.” He claps a hand to my back and rubs it soothingly.

I try to push my claustrophobia down as Zayn guides me through the people to a couch where his friends are perched. I recognize them from historical sciences. I immediately feel self-conscious as I meet their scrutinizing eyes.

“You guys know Niall right?” Zayn’s large hand remains on my lower back.

They nod in response and we exchange awkward and silent stares.

Finally one of them speaks up. “Louis,” he extends his hand for me to shake it. His blue eyes shimmer in the dull but pulsating lights inside the apartment.

Next is Liam who has cocoa brown eyes and matching hair. After we shake hands they all shift over so that I can sit on the couch with them.

They seem nice enough really. Not like the complete ass wipes I thought they were. They all look as hard and as rough as Harry, tattoos and piercing streaking their bodies, but none of them has the same cold personality.

“You’re Harry’s roommate then?” I think it’s Louis who speaks this time. His voice is very distinct. It’s somewhat feminine but masculine at the same time. I have to stop my eyes from delving into his muscled arms and torso.

I tear my eyes away and nod in response.

“This must be your first year then, I haven’t seen you around here before except the past few days.” Liam says.

“Oh you’re a sophomore?” I question them.

“No we just hang around here during the summer and whatnot, we all live around here.” Zayn explains.

We continue to create comfortable small talk until someone taps the microphone on the other side of the room. The music that had been playing automatically comes to a halt. I squint in the dark light until I see Harry perched atop a stool sat in front of the mic.

“Um, if I could have your attention, we’re um, gonna sing for you now.” His voice comes out stuttered and a little awkwardly but still deep enough to send echoes throughout the small apartment building and send a shiver through my spine. The crowd doesn’t miss a beat though and immediately begins cheering.

Zayn gives a giddy nudge from in front of me where he’s standing there and smiling like an idiot. He tugs me up and we all weave through the crowd of bodies until we are at the front of the crowd.

The first few strums of the guitar set the crowd into a frenzy again.

“This is my favorite song.” Zayn leans down to whisper into my ear.

Soon Harry begins singing and I see exactly what Zayn is talking about. The first words of the song send goose flesh up and down my arms and legs.

I recognize the tune as one of 1975’s songs and find myself singing along with Harry’s powerful voice. The crowd does the same, pumping their fists with the beats of the drum.

I can’t help but stare in awe at the beautiful boy on stage. He looks so confident and happy. Not smug and arrogant but genuinely confident like that is exactly where he belongs.

The band does a few more songs before Harry resumes talking. The shakiness and vulnerability in his voice has disappeared as he closes out and tells everyone to drink their body weight. I really don’t think they needed his permission judging by the drunken screams he is receiving.

White Noise exits the makeshift stage, taking their instruments with them. Soon Harry joins his friends and I on the couch we have returned to.

“That was amazing Harry.” I say softly, letting a smile play on my face.

He looks up at me momentarily before mumbling, “I know.” And turning away from me.

Throughout the night the party continues and Louis and Liam proceed to get plastered. I’m surprised a little when I don’t see Harry nor Zayn pick up a single red solo cup. Before long, Liam begins mumbling incoherent things which Louis, Zayn and I find hilarious while Harry appears to be sulking on the opposite end of the couch.

I get up and approach him just as he is brushing his chocolate curls away from his face. “Are you alright? You guys really did do great tonight.” I couldn’t tell you why I’m being nice to him after all the times he’s been a dick to me. I’ve never been good at holding grudges though.

Harry just nods but remains silent.

A wave bravery washes through me. “I got your note.”

He looks up at me this time. His intoxicating green orbs locking me in his gaze. “Leave it Niall.” He says coldly.

“Look, I know we-“

“I said, _leave it._ ” He says through grit teeth.

I return is angry glare, sort of pissed off now. This boy was relentless. I break my stare to roll my eyes at him and I swear to god if that is a stupid smirk on his lopsided mouth I will knock his damn teeth out.

I feel a hand on my shoulder and turn to see looking down at me. “You alright?”

“Yeah, just tired I guess. Do you think you can take me home?”


	6. 5.

The ride back to my dorm was a short one. I stayed silent during the ride and pretended to listen to Zayn’s endless chatter about Harry’s band and something about getting me drunk next time there was a party.

There wasn’t going to be a next time though. Harry’s mates were fine but Harry made it obvious that I was unwelcomed and I got the hint.

It baffeled Zayn as much as it did me as to why my roommate resented me so much but the raven haired boy left it alone. Much like Harry had told me to.

I was growing to resent the curly mop of curls and green eyed boy. A lot.

“Mate, stop thinking so hard. You’re going to get wrinkles.” Zayn laughs at me from atop Harry’s bed.

Zayn decided to come over and bug the hell out of me since he couldn’t find anything better to do on a Saturday evening. His other friends however were off probably doing something they were going to regret in the morning.

We didn’t do much today, just sat around and watched a few movies after running to the campus coffee shop this morning. Zayn loves coffee I’ve learned, while I on the other hand, can barely drink the rancid stuff.

“What are you thinking about anyway?” He inquires.

“That soba noodle hanging from your chin.” I point out. Zayn immediately looks down and starts swatting at the pasta dangling from his chin.

I laugh at his antics, earning a fuck-you look from my friend.

He and I have gotten a lot closer since we first met in English Lit, quite the contrary to his other friends.

Besides the party on Thursday, we’ve been out to eat a few times after classes to a restaurant on campus that he says he goes to quite a lot. I can tell because the waitresses there call him by his first name and shamelessly ogle their eyes at him. Zayn ignores them though and I even told them that he was taken. You should have seen the look on their faces. They must have thought we were a gay couple because their faces flushed a bright scarlet. While they fell over themselves, Zayn and I were in hysterics.

We had ordered some take out a while ago that Zayn was still picking at. I was busied with my English text book.

“I’m hungry.” Zayn says plainly. I look up from my thick textbook and meet his liquid eyes.

“What the hell? How are you hungry?” He just shrugs his shoulders.

“I’m starving Niall, let’s go to the restaurant, yeah?” I watch him and he stands from Harry’s bed.

“Zayn Malik, you have been eating nonstop all day long!”

He pats his flat abdomen and smirks at me. “I’m a growing boy. What can I say?”

“Yeah more like a growing pain in my ass.” I gruff under my breath.

Zayn barks into a fit of laughter.

“Fine we’ll go but I need to get a sweater first.” I say.

He looks around and grabs his off the edge of the bed where he had thrown it off as soon as we set foot into the stuffy dorm rooms. “Here just where mine.”

“Okay but then what are you gonna where?” I raise my eyebrow at him. Zayn may come across as a tough guy but if he tried to go out in just the thin t-shirt he’s wearing I’m pretty sure he’d turn into a popsicle.

“Yours?” Zayn says as if it should be obvious.

“Why?”

“Because I want to wear your UCLA sweater.” He says again in the same tone before picking my discarded sweater off the floor and slipping it over his head.

It’s a little tight on him but it looks good. I smile a little at him as he asks if it looks okay.

“Your turn, unless you’re too badass for a top now since you’re partying now and whatnot.” Zayn teases and looks at me expectantly. He tosses his black hoodie at my face.

I slip it over my white tank top and stand in front of the mirror. Zayn’s laughter fills the room again as he takes in the sight in front of him.

His sweatshirt is practically swallowing me whole. The arms come past my hands and the length of it comes down just past my hips. “I can’t wear this, give me mine back.” I protest.

“No listen to me,” he walks over and grabs my left arm. “All you have to do is just roll these up a little.” When he finishes rolling that sleeve up, he moves to the next one. I watch his eyebrows furrow in concentration as he folds the sleeves over themselves.

I glance back into the mirror once he’s finished both arms and see that Zayn’s handiwork does make the sweater look considerably better.

“You look fine!” Zayn groans as I continue to examine myself.

“Fine, we can go now.”

Zayn grabs his keys from the bedside table that is wedged in between the two small beds and exits the room with me close on his heels.

When we get inside his car, he cranks the heat up to the highest setting and quickly rubs his hand together and blows into them. “It’s freezing.” He mumbles. I can faintly hear his teeth chattering from beneath my beanie and I let out a giggle.

“What?” He turns to smile at me.

“I can hear your teeth chattering.” I laugh and Zayn rolls his eyes.

“Can you? I didn’t even realize they were.” He says slightly shocked but drives off anyways.

While we drive, the heat from the car seems to make the scent of Zayn waft through the small confinements of the car. I all but inhale his cologne and smokey aroma. He smells good but nowhere near as lovely as the scent I smelled the other day back in my dorm. Not as…

Arousing.

I snuggle into Zayn’s hoodie trying to get as warm as possible. I look down and notice the graffiti _Z_ etched into the middle of the fabric. It looks very carefully etched in but definitely not manufactured this way. But I like it. Its like Zayn. Original.

We get to the small diner in no time and find its mostly empty.

We sit inside a booth across from someone who is intently fixated on their phone. My couriosity gets the best of me and I continue to peer at the darkly dressed figure. Whoever it is, is clothed in a long and brownish trench coat with the collar popped up so that it covers most of the figure’s face. I look down and notice impossibly tight black skinny jeans and a matching pair of brown and worn boots.

“Niall, stop staring mate.” Zayn chuckles from across from me. “Love at first sight is it?”

“I’m just looking idiot.” I whisper back.

“Doesn’t look like just looking.”

At the sound of our voices, the persons head immediately flicks up and into our direction.

Fuck.

Instantly I’m faced with a seemingly pissed off Harry.

His gaze is very intense, holding my own until I can’t seem to break away my stare. He finally looks away from me and onto Zayn. I watch his forest eyes dart back and forth. His mouth turns sideways into an infuriated and disgusted look.

He clears his throat to catch the attention of a waitress strolling by his table. “Check please?” His voice comes out in an unbelievable raspiness that makes my gut clench. I’d be lying if I said this boy didn’t intimidate me.

I look across to Zayn but his confused look is mirroring my own.

“Are you sure? I can get you something to go?” The blushing waitress offers.

“I said I want my check.” He repeats harshly. The waitress doesn’t hesitate to hand it to him. He stands and quickly tosses a few bills on to the table. I watch as he exits the diner, leaving three flushed and very confused people behind him.

Zayn doesn’t say anything for a while and leaves me alone to stare at me palms that now have little half-moon marks where my nails have dug into my flesh whilst I had been clenching my fist so tight. I didn’t even realize I was doing it until I felt the slight stinging sensation.

I let the olive toned boy order for me. I smile at him a little when the waitress brings a plate of French fries out for us. I have to hold back my laugh as he nearly drowns the fries in mounds of ketchup until barely any yellow is visible. An employee nearby watches in horror.

“I hate him.” I say while taking a bite into a soaked French fry.

“Who?” He eyes me curiously through a mouthful of food.

“Harry.” I breathe out.

I know I barely know him, but what I do know makes me never want to be around the boy ever again. He makes me cringe. He’s so cold and rude. On top of that, he only runs over the people that deserve it the least. Like me. Not to say that I deserve nothing but top treatment, but Harry doesn’t know me enough to dislike me as much as he does. Hell, he doesn’t know me at all.

“C’mon Niall, don’t say that. He isn’t all that bad. Just takes some getting use to.” Zayn tries to sooth my irritable mood. “Really, Harry can be one of nicest people you’ll ever meet.”

I scoff at the last part. Somehow, I find that hard to believe.

“Why do you keep hanging out with me?” I question him. Not that I don’t appreciate his kindness, I just don’t understand it in the slightest. I’m not accustomed to it.

“I guess I just really like you.” Zayn doesn’t hesitate to continue talking through his fries. “You’re pretty cool, Niall, no matter if you don’t think so or not. I just like you, that’s all.” He finally smiles at me and I can’t help but smile back at him.

He is one of the nicest people I’ve met. I can’t imagine how things would be if I didn’t have Zayn as a friend. I’d be utterly alone at this gigantic campus.

 

 

When we get back to my dorm I’m unbelievably exhausted. I just want to crash onto my bed and I honestly don’t care if I don’t see the sun shine again for the next year.

Zayn, much to my disappointment, is wide awake. He dutifully resumes his spot on Harry’s vacant bed and turns on the television, chattering about little nothings once again.

After a while, he asks to stay the night at my dorm since its already past one in the morning. I agree without hesitation.

“Zayn, what the fuck are you watching?” I exclaim from my bed after the seventh time of hearing the word vagina.

“Girl Code.” He gives me a doe eyed expression and a small smile.

“Yep, hate to break it to you mate but you’re gay. Embrace it.” I tease and let myself fall back onto the bed. I prop my elbows up behind my bed like a cushion.

I fight to contain the purr that is nearly strangling itself from my throat as I snuggle deeper into my bed and start to succumb to sleep.

I’ve never had this problem before. People didn’t usually stay the night so I have always been free to do whatever my inner kitten pleases during the night hours.

My beanie sat atop my head has also become unbearably uncomfortable as well and I am constantly having to shift it into different positions to get some relief.

“If its bothering you that much just take it off.” Zayn says without taking his eyes of the television.

I let out a frustrated sigh. This catches Zayn’s attention and he turns to watch me curiously. “You okay?”

I nod. I take in a deep breath to try to muster up any courage swirling around in my being. When I exhale, I let the words slip from my tight lips. “Can I show you something?”


	7. 6.

“Can I show you something?”

Zayn turns to meet my pooling blue eyes and nods wearily.

I gulp and nod back at him. I’m not sure why I nodded because he didn’t say anything to me in the first place. I guess I’m just trying to reassure myself that it’ll be okay. Zayn’s a friend right? I can trust him.

I stand up slowly and shuffle over to Harry’s bed where Zayn is sat. I don’t take my eyes off him as I cautiously take a seat next to him at the foot of the bed. He continues to eye me.

“You have to promise me you won’t freak out okay? And you can’t tell anybody about what I’m about to show you.”

“You’re starting to freak me out already, Niall.” He chuckles. “But yeah, I promise.”

I nod and gulp hard again. This time it makes my throat ache because of the dryness inside my mouth. I bet if I would cough, a cloud of dust would come out.

“Relax, mate, just me here.” He soothes.

I couldn’t tell you where this new found trust of Zayn has come from.

I breathe deeply and reach up to the beanie that is loosely matted on top of my head. I tug it off gently and reveal my once concealed grey triangles that sit atop my blond hair.

“Okay why’d you take your- _oh._ ” I watch as Zayn’s eyes go wide at the sight before him. I recoil as he reaches forward towards the sensitive little tips.

“Can I?” He motions towards the top of my head.

I reluctantly nod. I feel his hands ruffle through my bleached blonde hair a little then move ever so slowly to my kitten ears. He feels them for a moment, taking in the velvety softness of them. His eyes stay trained on mine as he begins to lightly scratch behind the left ear.

I feel a rumble of a purr clawing its way up from the back of my throat and try to swallow it. As he moves his other hand up to begin scratching behind my right ear simultaneously, I involuntarily let the low and deep purr out.

Zayn jumps back and his eyes are blown wide.

“Sorry.” I mumble and back away from him. This was a bad idea.

“No come here.” He grabs my wrist and pulls me closer to him.

“You’re not scared of me? Afraid of what I am?” I trail off. “I’m a-“

“Hybrid.” Zayn finishes for me.

I nod in disgust, wishing to be anything else at this moment. “I don’t understand why I couldn’t have been normal. Why can’t I be like everyone else?”

“Everybody else is lame as fuck Niall.” Zayn smiles at me. I admire the crinkles that form by his eyes when he smiles widely. “You’re special.”

“So the whole half cat thing doesn’t freak you out?”

“No! I find it cool as hell!” Zayn exclaims excitedly. “But aren’t you supposed to like, have a tail or something? Claws? Cat fangs?”

I nearly laugh out loud at his imagination. “No Zayn. I have a tail but it’s kind of annoying actually.” I slowly stand and step out of the sweatpants I’m wearing and free my tabby grey tail from its position wrapped around my right leg. I turn to the side so that I’m in Zayn’s careful gaze.

His eyes trail up my slender build and rest on the tail sprouting from my lower backside. I fight the urge to squirm under his scrutinizing eyes.

“Wow.” He breathes.

“Yeah imagine what I said when I saw that thing…” I chuckle.

Zayn steps forward and reaches a hand out to graze my tail. Almost as if it has its own mind, I involuntarily let the silky limb coil around Zayn’s wrist. He chuckles and strokes the pads of this thumbs over the fur wrapped around his arm.

“This is amazing.” His says in awe.

“Thanks,” I flush slightly but recover. “As for the claws and fangs, that hasn’t happened and I hope it doesn’t. When I’m really angry or upset my instincts start kicking in and I can go a bit berserk sometimes but most of the time I’ve got it under control.” I pause, thinking of the time I clawed all of Harry’s posters from the wall.

Zayn stares back at me in fascination as if he is telling me to go on.

“Oh, and my front canine teeth get a little shaper when I go into heat. My eyes turn almost an electric blue. It’s kind of scary actually. I almost can’t control myself.”

“What exactly do you mean, _go into heat_?” He raises a dark eyebrow at me.

“Like, look for a mate.” I stutter out awkwardly.

“So in other words, you turn into this super horny kitten?” He smirks at me.

My face sports a blush at his words. “I guess you can say that.”

“How often does that happen?”

“Not as often as it does for actual cats. It only happens about twice a year.” I push back the thoughts reminding me that my next season is due in less than a month.

“Oh,” I almost laugh at Zayn’s unbashful curiosity. “So do you get all pissy and territorial like an actual cat.”

“Yes, Zayn.” I sigh.

“Great, you basically have a man period.”

“You’re taking this awful calmly.” I say in bewilderment. I release my grip on Zayn’s wrist and take a seat on the bed. Zayn follows my example.

“Well what’d you expect?” His liquid brown eyes capture my own blue ones.

“I guess I expected you to flip out on me. Run out of the room screaming and call animal control.” I shrug my shoulders.

“No, I wouldn’t ever. You can’t help being what you are. I’m not one to judge. Why do you think I hang out with a dweeb like you all the time anyway? I knew you were something special from the moment I saw you.” Zayn grins at me.

I smile a little at his compliment then realize he just insulted me. I punch his shoulder lightly. “Ass.”

Zayn laughs.

We spend the next few hours talking about my strange existence.

Zayn has occupied himself by pelting me with question and playing with the grey triangles perched on my head. He is trying to see how close he can get his fingers to one of them without it twitching. I can’t help but laugh at his intrigued expression. He looks like a three year old on Christmas.

There aren’t many people or cats like me. Whatever you want to call me. I’m not human yet I’m not an animal either. Zayn’s says it’s a perfect mix of the two and I should embrace it.

I try to see from his point of view. If it’s something to be proud of, why should I have to hide it then?

Hybrids are supposed to be mythical creatures. Painted from the minds of crazed scientist who wished their animal companions could actually come to life as humans. They tested human subjects and various animals in their makeshift laboratories, mixing vials of DNA and blood to create the perfect combination. According to history books, none were ever successful.

Yet here I am.

But I was never concocted from a test tube in a lab. I guess I’m just a freak of nature.

As we continue to talk, I watch my tail languidly continue to wrap itself and unwind itself around Zayn’s wrists. He doesn’t seem to mind it.

My train of thought is broken by Zayn pressing me with another question. “So when is the last time you went off in a rage?”

My mind immediately reflects back to the night I thought of earlier. Tearing Harry’s posters off the wall felt so good. Creating permanent claw marks into the cheap drywall of the dorm room was like releasing pent up stress swirling around my being. It was like I had gotten high on the feeling of destroying something. To say the least, that did not set me at ease.

I wasn’t a violent person. Or at least I thought.

“Um, I haven’t really gotten angry recently.” I lie.

Zayn looks slightly disappointed at my lame answer. I almost feel bad for lying to him but I don’t want a conversation involving Harry to dampen my mood.

“Thank you again, Zayn.”

He shifts over on the bed to look at me properly and removes his meddling finders from my kitten ears. “For what?”

“Everything.”

He just grins at me and pulls me over to the crook where his arm connects to his torso and sets me there softly. “Kittens like to cuddle right?”

I nod and let out a chuckle.

“Good. I do too.”

“You’re a big softie Zayn.” I sigh and feel Zayn’s muscled arm hook around my shoulder. I snuggle closer into him and smile in contentment. The vibrations radiating through my entire body is uncontrollable as he gently scratches behind my ears.

“Shut up and cuddle with me kitten.”


	8. 7.

The smell of sweat and alcohol wafts through my overly active nostrils. I cringe at the scent. I’ve never been one to drink. I was very sensitive to the stuff. A few drinks, and I was on my ass.

Of course Mary had thought it was hilarious but it wasn’t so funny when I was back her house vomiting my insides up in her bathroom.

I think I spot Zayn a few feet away from talking to some of his mates.

I don’t know why I agreed to come here with him. I told him I wouldn’t be accompanying him to another party but here I am doing just that.

The week went pretty well for me actually; I spent most of it with Zayn and managed to avoid Harry for the most part. When I did see him, he just ignored me. I gave up trying to figure out why he has such a distaste for me and left it alone. I’ve come to the conclusion that he is just a jerk.

I whirl around and someone grips my hips rather aggressively. “Need a drink cutie?”

I’m met with a small blonde girl with bright green eyes. They are beautiful, but nothing compared to Harry’s dazzling ones.

“No, I’m okay.” I say and offer her a smile.

Her lip glossed smirk falters but she recovers quickly. “Fine, dance with me?”

I debate on what I should say to this girl. Yes, I’m not really pegging for girls at all but this girl is pretty enough. “Erm. I guess.”

She immediately turns around and presses her bum against my crotch.

Well, this is new.

I’m a little lost so she guides my hands to her hips. She continues to grind and press against me while I stand there awkwardly.

I thought we would be dancing not having sex while standing.

She seems to be enjoying herself though while I try not to make a cringy face.

“Vanessa?”

I look up and spot Harry weaving through the pulsing bodies towards us. His brows are pulled together so that it looks like he has a unibrow. I try to hold back a smile at the image of Harry with a unibrow.

“Your boyfriend is looking for you.” He says once he reaches us.

“B-boyfriend?” I sputter and jump back away from the girl. Great, the last thing I needed right now was to get my face pounded in.

“Dammit.” Vanessa mutters and stalks off in the opposite direction.

I turn to face Harry to find him glaring at me.

“I-I swear, I didn’t k-know.” My eyes dart around the room but I can barely see in the dim lighting. Usually, it wouldn’t be a problem for me to see in the dark but the air in this apartment building is clouded and hazy with smoke from the bongs and cigarettes that are being passes around like an offering at a church service.

“I thought you weren’t into girls.” Harry mutters. I can just make out the frown on his plump lips.

“What’s it to you anyway?” I reply darkly and shove past him.

I give myself a small pat on the back for my harshness. He deserved everything he got.

After managing to dodge the odd girl or two throwing themselves at me, I finally reach Zayn. He tugs me under his arm and into his side.

“You okay?” He whispers to me.

I nod at him which he smiles at. “Good, White Noise is preforming in a sec.”

I nod again in acknowledgement. A wave of excited butterflies runs through me at this news. I genuinely liked hearing Harry’s band. It’s probably one of the only reasons Zayn managed to drag me out of my dorm room to come to this party with him in the first place.

When Harry and his band positions themselves in the small empty space that isn’t occupied by sweaty bodies, Zayn, Liam, Louis and I take our usual positions in front of the mass of partiers.

Harry clears his throat a few times and looks out into the crowd, pushing his curls off his forehead that now has a thin gleam of perspiration on it.

Harry really is attractive. As much as I hate to admit it, he is. I notice this more and more every time I look at him. I try my hardest not to pay him any attention but my eyes somehow always manage to wander to the curly haired boy.

Within the first strokes of the keyboard, I immediately recognize the song as one of my favorites. Harry is very talented as well. I’ve never heard someone with such a deep and powerful voice, yet the raspiness of it makes him seem somewhat humble. Harry is anything but.

The next few songs fly by and I find myself being tugged backwards by Zayn.

“C’mon. We’re playing spin the bottle with a few friends.” He says.

I almost laugh out loud at the term. _Friends._

“That’s disgusting.” I scoff at the thought. I would not be placing my lips anywhere near these drunks.

Zayn just laughs me off. “Be a big boy Niall, you’ve kissed someone before right?”

“Yes.” I gulp. It was a complete lie but I sure as hell wasn’t going to let Zayn or anyone else know that.

Well, it wasn’t technically a lie because Mary was my first kiss. She told me I couldn’t go into high school without kissing someone so we kissed.

It wasn’t a real kiss though. More like a nervous peck. I’ve never snogged anyone properly before.

Believe me, kissing Mary wasn’t pleasant in the slightest but at least it was someone.

“It’s not really spin the bottle like you play in elementary school; this is seven minutes of heaven. The person the bottle lands on you go into the closet with for seven minutes.” I think Zayn is trying to reassure me but he’s doing the opposite.

I groan and drag my hands over my face. “Like that’s any better.”

“Just depends on who you get put together with.” Zayn shrugs and leads me over to where a small circle of people are already waiting around an empty beer bottle.

He tugs me down by my wrist and I plop down beside him sitting indian style.

I look around the group and recognize a few of the faces. I see Louis and Liam, a few girls they hang out with sometimes, I see Vanessa which I’m not really surprised at. After scanning the circle a few more times I spot Harry sitting with a red head propped against him.

I nearly vomit at the sight. She is literally drooling over him while he isn’t paying her the slightest bit of attention. Her loving stare doesn’t falter when he turns to wink at a girl who is passing by.

“Alright. Who’s ready?” Louis claps his hands together and rubs them. Everyone except for me nods at him giving him permission to continue.

“Right then. I’ll go first.”

He spins the bottle and watches anxiously as it slows. Finally, it lands on Vanessa. Her eyes light up and I hear Louis groan a little. I stifle a laugh as he gets up and pulls her into a nearby closet.

This leaves the rest of us to stare at each other awkwardly as Louis and Vanessa do god knows what inside the closet.

When they finally do emerge after the longest seven minutes of my life, Louis’ hair is sticking up in every direction and a ring of red is around his mouth. I’m guessing that’s from Vanessa’s bright red lipstick.

His face goes red at our reaction.

My ears twitch when I hear Harry chuckle. Jesus, even his laugh was sexy.

I roll my eyes at my own thoughts.

“Alright, Niall, how about you give it a go?” Louis asks when he returns to his spot on the shag carpet.

I gulp but nod anyways. I don’t know which would be worse. The bottle landing on a random guy or a slutty girl. Both don’t seem very appealing at this moment.

Maybe I’ll get paired with Zayn and we can just laugh it off in the closet? I cross my fingers and spin the bottle.

It goes around the group a few times before slowing to a stop. I slowly look up to find him smirking at me.


	9. 8.

“Shall we?” He stands and offers a hand out for me to take. I stare at it for a moment in shock before I take it and stand with him. He leads us to the closet.

“You sure this is a good idea Niall?” I can hear Zayn fussing behind me.

Before I can answer Harry shuts the closet door, blocking my view of Zayn so that I’m now leaning against the wall opposite of him.

When I finally have the courage to look up, the first thing I see is that stupid smirk. He gently tugs on the metal hoop poking through his bottom lip with his straight teeth. I watch, mesmerized as he runs his tongue over it.

“I said,” He grabs me roughly by the waist and shoves he harder into the wall, “don’t look at me like that.” I am suddenly hyperaware of his closeness. My senses go into over drive while he speaks, his mint and cinnamon breath fanning my nose and cheeks.

I take a deep breath and try to square my shoulders. “What’s your problem?”

“You.”

I stare back at his piercing gaze dumbfounded.

“Fuck you Harry.” I spit at him.

He just chuckles and releases his grip on my hips.

“Seriously, what did I ever do to you for you to hate me so much?”

He shrugs his shoulders.

“You’re unbelievable.” I scoff. “I can’t stand people like you.”

“What do you mean, _people like me?_ ”

“Just you, the way you are. You’re an asshole to everyone and think you’re above everyone.”

“You don’t know a thing about me!” Harry yells. He has returned his earlier position of in my face. This time though his large hands don’t have a firm grip on me. I see his pupils contract and retract as his voice booms inside the small confinements of the closet.

“Yeah well I don’t want to!” I hiss back.

He breathes out harshly through his nose and stares down the brim of it to look at me. The height difference between us isn’t really making my argument seem very stern but I try to hold my own.

“Your so naïve little Niall, you think people don’t see straight through your little act? You’re pathetic really. Flocking around Zayn like he actually cares for you.” He taunts.

“Shut up.”

He laughs darkly. “I’m surprised he’s kept you around this long.”

“Stop it, Harry _please._ ” I plead with him.

“Aw, did I hurt your feelings baby?” He coos like a mother would at a toddling infant.

Just then the door is swung open revealing Liam. Harry jumps back at the sight of him. “Seven minutes is up boys!” He smiles.

I dart out of the closet, batting away the forming tears with my eyelashes.

“Niall?” I hear Zayn calling after me as I exit the smoky building.

I don’t even know where I’m going. I just have to get away from here. From Harry.

“What did you do to him?!” I can faintly hear Zayn’s strong accent echoing off the walls of the apartment. “You don’t know when to stop do you?”

I ignore the few people calling my name as I walk. The tears are flowing freely now and keeping up with pace of my steps. I walk in the general direction that I think my dorms are.

Every strangled breath that escapes my lips creates a puffy cloud of steam around me. I didn’t realize how cold it was out here. I tug relentlessly at the light jumper I’m wearing trying to collect any warmth it might suffice.

After walking for what seems like ages I spot my illuminated dorm building. I climb the flight of stairs to my floor and shove my card through the card slot unlocking my door with a quick twist.

I don’t even bother taking my clothes off properly before diving under the covers of my small twin sized bed. I more so tear them off of me and delve into the warmth of the bed. I hear my teeth chattering along with the faint whimpers crawling from the back of my throat.

My grey tail coils subconsciously around my feeble body. I tug my knees up to my chest and hug them.

 

 

“Niall.”

An angry mewl escapes my parted lips when I feel someone shaking me from my torturous slumber.

“C’mon, wake up please.”

“D’on wan ta,” I gurgle sleepily earning a chuckle from the intruder.

“I brought you some breakfast.” The gravelly voice offers.

My eyes crack open slowly at the mention of food. At first my vision is a little blurry and foggy from sleep but the scent of strawberry Danish and coffee is already flooding my nostrils.

When the figure finally comes into view I notice a floppy mop of curls and pale skin. I see a few freckles along his nose and a light pink smile. Then I finally see those menacing eyes.

“Harry?” I scramble up and wrap the comforter around my lower half, shielding my kitten tail. I try my best to keep my little ears pressed firmly to my head but my hair is sticking up from sleep so they shouldn’t be noticeable anyway.

My mind is still foggy but I can still vaguely recall the events from last night and Harry is the last person welcomed into my morning right now.

“I wanted to say sorry, I guess.” He mumbles softly and focuses on his feet.

“You guess?”

“Look, just take the food okay? Zayn won’t let me leave until you do. He’s standing outside the door.” He grumbles. “I’ve got better things to do.”

“Get out.” I say angrily.

“What?” He looks taken aback by my sudden mood change.

“I said, _get out.”_   I let the iciness seep through my voice as I glare at him.

His eyebrows narrow at me as if he is genuinely confused. “Why?”

“Jesus Harry would you just leave me alone!” I scream at the green eyed boy.

He blinks a few times and opens his mouth to say something. Before he finishes though, he turns on his heels and leaves the room with as much as a _whatever_ on his way out.


	10. 9.

I swing my stiff legs over the bed once Harrys’ nowhere in sight. “Okay you can come in now Zayn.”

I wait for his deep voice to answer but it doesn’t. “Zayn?” I call again. No answer.

I peep my head out of the door slightly, hiding my shirtless torso and look around cautiously. I see a few of my neighbors walking up and down the quiet dorm hallway but Zayn is nowhere in sight.

I walk backwards back into the room and grab my phone off my chest of drawers where it’s charging. I send a quick text to Zayn.

_Thought you were right outside the door? Why’d you take off? –N_

Minutes later I get a text back from my friend.

_Haven’t been round yours since yesterday. You alright? Sorry about last night. I won’t let him near you anymore, okay? Xx –Z_

I stare at my phone more confused than I was when I saw Harry standing above me a few minutes ago

I shrug it off and decide to try to start my day on a positive note. I shower quickly and dress myself in my new black skinny jeans, thanks to Zayn, and his jumper with the _Z_ on it. I’ll have to remember to ask him for my UCLA sweater back sometime.

I let my jeans rest a little lower than I normally do, letting my boxers poke out over my bum, so that I can just hide the fluffy tail attached to my backside inside Zayn’s oversized sweater. Trying to conceal it in these skin tight jeans would prove to be near impossible and extremely uncomfortable.

I roll the arms of the jumper up like Zayn taught me and let my hair lay flat today. I slip on my white snapback and matching white trainers. Once I’ve gotten myself to a somewhat decent appearance I head off to my first class of the day.

The day flies by pretty quickly and I’m ready to see my sweater thief.

“Hey kitty boy.” He smiles at me when I walk into English Literature. I wave back and give him a small smile in return only to be pulled under his shoulder into a tight embrace.

I welcome it gratefully at first by recoil a little, remembering Harry’s harsh words. _Flocking around Zayn like he actually cares for you_

“How are you?” I ask once he’s released me and resumed his earlier position inside his desk.

“I’ve been better mate.”

“Why’s that?” I inquire.

“Just a little miffed about last night. What’d he say to you anyway that made you so upset?” He looks at me with his puppy brown eyes and cocks his head to the side slightly. He doesn’t have to do much explaining for me to know exactly who he’s referring to.

“Nothing.”

“Niall…” He presses.

“Zayn.”

“C’mon tell me.”

“S’not worth it.”

He lets his warm hand rest on top of mine that is sat atop my desk and strokes it softly. “Niall, you’re worth it.”

 _I’m surprised he’s kept you around this long._ I exhale sharply, willing Harry’s voice to leave with it.

He chuckles at my glare that I’m unintentionally sporting. “We both know you’re going to tell me so just get it over with.”

“He was just making fun of me for being gay. Same as always.” I lie. I scratch the back of my neck where a few strands of bottle blonde hair are poking out, nervously and take in Zayn’s reaction. He’s frowning deeply causing worry lines to etch themselves across his forehead.

I don’t know why I’m lying to one of my best mates. Zayn wouldn’t get mad at _me_ for what Harry said. But I do know that I don’t want to cause unneeded tension between Zayn and Harry. That’ll inevitably cause Zayn to distance himself away from me and that’s the last thing I want especially when he’s all I’ve got.

“Hey don’t frown, it doesn’t suit you.” I try to play it off. “Besides, it doesn’t matter. He apologized like you told him to.” I reassure him.

“He apologized?”

“Zayn, you made him.” I look at him stupidly.

“No I didn’t?” He counters.

“Well, he came to my, _our,_ room this morning and brought me a pastry and some coffee. He apologized but I wasn’t having any of it. He said you were standing outside the door waiting for him so I sent him away.”

Confusion crawls across Zayn’s features as he listens to me. “I haven’t spoken to Harry since last night.” He points out.

“Oh.” I say, my voice at a monotone.

As I turn back in my seat to face the professor that has just walked in, my mind keeps throwing up images of Harry into my focus. I silently pray to God, that if he’s listening, he’ll remove those moss green eyes from my thoughts and dreams.

 

 

“Okay class. Look alive, we are starting chapter nine today,” The voice of my historical sciences teacher is droning on and on annoyingly.

“Why do we have to study this?” Liam says from behind me. I turn to see he’s already got his ten ton textbook cracked open to the assigned chapter.

I’m surprised the comment didn’t come from a certain curly haired boy. He usually is the smart ass of the class. Always having something sour to say. But he isn’t here today. I suppose he’s skipping.

I mentally slap myself for letting my mind wander back to him.

“Excuse me?”

“Why do we have to learn about this? Nobody knows what the hell you’re talking about half the time anyway.” Liam mutters the last part under his breath earning a few snickers from a some class mates surrounding him.

“You young people need to come to grips with what is real. And, what _isn’t._ ” The professor retorts. From the look on his face, he thinks he’s said something extremely profound but from the whispering going on around me, nobody actually does care.

I sigh and open the enormously thick book up to chapter nine. I freeze at the subject.  _Philosophies on Hybrid Experimentation. Accounts from the creators themselves._

I nervously skim over the pages within the chapter and cringe at the graphics. There are pictures of bloodied human beings lying atop makeshift lab tables, lacerations painfully clear on their dark skin. The black and white style of the pictures magnifies the dirt and grime caked on the beings locked inside cages, staring back at me wide eyed and frightened.

I almost have to hold back the bile rising in my throat as my eyes continue to roam over the words.

“Horan, I see you’ve already started the reading, how about you read the first selection from Dr. Rose to the class?” The little man smirks from his desk.

“I’ll do it.” Zayn volunteers. I give him a thankful smile.

“Malik, last time I checked, your name on the roster is not Horan. He doesn’t need your help.” The professor sasses back at Zayn. “Horan?” He turns his attention back on me, eying me expectantly.

I swallow hard but nod. I feel twenty pairs of eyes watching me as I stand.

When I make my way to the front of the class, I take a few deep breaths and attempt to calm my nerves. They go into over drive under all the intense stares. Most of these kids have never spoken to me and are probably surprised to hear me speak at all.

I try to keep to myself.

I glance down at what I’m supposed to read aloud. It’s a diary entry from this nut that goes by Rose. I blink hard and clear my throat before beginning.

_“December 24, 1837_

_I watch the experiment intently. He is unresponsive to sleep inducements. Also he refuses nourishment. Pus is still persistently oozing from the imjection sights,”_

I struggle to continue. “Sir, can someone else please take over?”

He simply shakes his head and motions me to go on.

_“Sedatives and pain relievers are unavailable at the moment. When impaled with the saw to remove his tail, he screams out in pain. His screams are mixed with another sound, a canine growl. Experiment has attempted to bite several times. After having his teeth pulled out, he remains quiet. The smell of his blood still lingers-“_

I slam the book shut.

“I can’t.” I mumble out before scrambling out of the classroom.

My sensitive ears allow me to hear someone yell after me. “Pussy!” This causes the class to irrupt into laughter.

I choke on my breath while my chest heaves up and down as I run from the building. My eyes are now blurry with salty tears that I can now taste running down my face so I’m nearly sent reeling backwards when I run into the hard body in front of me full force.

“I-I-I’m s-sorry.” I can’t recognize the strangled sobs of my own voice.

I feel hands rest on my shoulders then hesitantly wrap around me and pull me into a solid chest. I continue to sniffle, ruining the shirt of whoever is holding me with my dripping nose and tears.

I’ve never been so embarrassed and disgusted in my life.

“Shhh…I’ve got you.” The figure coos at me. I stiffen at his voice and another wave of tears washes over me as I realize who it is.

He seems to be alarmed by shaking shoulders because his grip tightens around me.

“Are you alright?” He murmurs softly.

I laugh darkly through my cries. “What a question.”


	11. 10.

Harry’s chest vibrates when he chuckles at my comment.

“Why a-are you being n-nice?” I sniffle.

I can feel his broad chest stiffen.

“Um.” He stops after that.

“Harry?” I slowly detach myself from his grip around me and tilt my head up to see his face. I don’t expect his blazing green eyes to be so close to mine when I do and for a second I’m enthralled by them. We stay like that for what seems like an eternity, just taking in each other’s presence and appearenc, but I know it’s only a few moments.

I watch Harry leisurely crane his head towards mine, our faces a few breaths apart. My mind is swimming with confusion at what the brunette is doing.

His tongue gingerly swipes across his lip ring and full lips. I’ve never noticed  just how pretty they are.

Our noses brush momentarily and that seems to bring him back down to earth.

He releases me and shoves me back with a huff.

“What the fuck.” He breathes.

My thoughts exactly. This bastard just tried to kiss me.

“Erm.” It’s my turn to mumble now as my hand idly moves to the back of my neck.

“D-don’t-“ He begins, eyes wide in an emotion I can’t even begin read. “Stay away from me.” His voice lingers threateningly in my head.

He resumes his dark composure and stalks off.

“No problem.” I cough awkwardly as I watch his long figure jaunt down the sidewalk.

 

 

 

“-spending a few days with me?”

“Pardon?” I’m still in a slight daze from earlier today.

“Wanna come over round mine this weekend?” Zayn repeats himself after rolling his eyes, irked with my short attention span.

I meditate on what the dark skinned boy has just offered me. I’ve finished most of my assignments for weeks ahead, let alone this lone week.

“No parties?”

Zayn shakes his head reassuringly. “There is one this weekend, like everyone weekend, but I’m not going.”

“Why?” I scrutinize, scrunching up my eyebrows at him.

“Told you I wasn’t having Harry around you anymore.” He says matter of factly.

“That doesn’t mean you can’t go party your ass off.”

“Don’t want to go without my best mate.” He slings an arm around my narrow shoulders and peers down at me.

I return his smile and wrap an arm around him grateful for his companionship. We continue walking in the general direction of our dorms. Zayn usually walks me to mine before heading off to his own room.

After the run in with Harry, I decided to wait for Zayn outside historical sciences since it was the last class of the day and nearly over with anyway. Plus, my dorm was in the same direction Harry fled in. The last thing I needed was for him to think I was following him.

“I’d love to come hang with you this weekend. We can have a gay slumber party.” I wink at him flirtatiously.

He laughs heartily before smacking the back of my head. “I’m not gay idiot.”

“Keep telling yourself that.” I mock.

 

 

 

The weekend rolls around faster than I expected which I’m grateful for. Harry starts coming to classes again but avoids me like he usually does. He just resumes his old seat at the back of class and remains quiet. The only movement from him is when he occasionally runs a large hand through his tousled dark chocolate curls.

His deep voice comes in sporadic intervals not like it used to be, constant and mocking. He seldom speaks in class; much less when he’s is around me. When our eyes do meet though for a brief second, he is glaring at me menacingly. His eyes always meet mine full of hatred.

I could give a flying fuck though.

Harry rubs me the wrong way. Period. He can piss around as much as he pleases for all I care.

You can’t just hate someone then suddenly decide to try to kiss them then stomp off and act like nothing occurred.

I’m just ready to get to Zayn’s dorm. He is the only stability in my college life, hell my whole life, right now and I couldn’t be more thankful for my friend.

Zayn _does_ genuinely care for me which is a delicacy that I will not let slip through my fingers.

“Niall!” Zayn beams at me from the door he’s just swung open.

“Hey Zayn,” I return just as fondly.

“You ready to go?” He asks.

“Go where?” I  allow my head to lull to the side in confusion.

“I thought we could go camping instead of staying cooped up in these lame ass dorms.” He shrugs.

“Okay but we’ll have to swing by my dorm to get my things.”

 

 

 

After we’ve retrieved a few of my belongings, toiletries, clothing, and other miscellaneous things, we head off to Oregon State Park in Zayn’s car. A few miles from the actual park itself there is a quaint little area for camping.

I’ve never been camping before but Zayn keeps assuring me that it’ll be fun and I don’t question him.

We arrive after a few hours of driving and set up a flimsy tent on somewhat clear earth.

“Mate, that is not the hole that goes in.” Zayn laughs at my struggle with the god forsaken tent. “Let me see it.”

I don’t hesitate to toss the mess of rods and fabric into his direction.

Within minutes he’s set up the tent flawlessly. I flip him off while he admires his handy work.

I glance off into the horizon where the sun is already beginning to set. “Gettin’ late,” I note. “Let’s make a fire shall we?”

He nods and I gather up a few generously proportioned logs, stacking them accordingly. I smirk slightly to myself. I might not be an outdoorsman but I do know how to do the task at hand. Thank the good lord above for boy scouts.

I pull out my old flint rock I had pocketed earlier while at my dorm and scrape it against my pocket knife swiftly, sending small sparks across the logs and sending them ablaze. I wiggle my eye brows at Zayn who is staring at me.

“Who’s a master of the great outdoors now?” I say smugly.

“Still not you.”

 

 

“Zayn?” I timidly glance over at the older boy sitting adjacent to me.

“Yeah?” He answers while keeping his focus on his marshmallow he is twirling dangerously close to the orange flames. “Another bug you need me to kill?”

I scoff at him. “No!”

I was having a hard time concentrating on what I was doing out here in the open vegetation. Every little noise and bug would ignite my feline curiosity. A few times Zayn had to go looking for me after I took off after a June bug, swatting at it playfully.

Zayn just smiles stupidly at me. “Go on then.”

“I ran into Harry Monday.” I say slowly.

“Did you?”

I nod. I had kept this little incident to myself all week. It was occupying my thoughts more than I had intended it to.

“Well?” Zayn presses on.

I languidly grab another marshmallow and slap it on to the end of my bent wire coat hanger, stalling as much as possible. I watch as the flames eagerly lap at delicate white sweet dangling before it.

“I ran into him after I left class. He wasn’t upset that I literally knocked the wind out of him he just kinda…held me.” I stumble over my words trying to find the right ones to say.

I pull the tight snapback off of my head and expose my kitten ears. I don’t bother fretting over anyone seeing them since we are so far out in the woods. I absentmindedly juggle the hat in my hands and wait for Zayn to respond.

“He did what?” Zayn is looking at me incredulously.

“Yeah, then he… well… ya see he tried to… kiss me.”

Zayn chokes loudly on the marshmallow he has just popped into his mouth. “He w _hat?_ ”


	12. 11.

“He w _hat?”_  Zayn sputters.

I nod solemnly ignoring the sickly feeling building up in my gut.

“Wait a second, you said he tried? So he didn’t actually kiss you?”

I shift over in my chair to look at Zayn properly. “Well he just looked at me for a while and next thing I know he is leaning in. I was frozen. I didn’t know what the hell he was doing. Then, our noses bumped and he shoved me away.”

The marshmallow I’m fiddling over the fire is beginning to brown under the intense heat of the flames.

He runs his long fingers through his extremely dark hair with a frustrated sigh. “Don’t fall for him please.” He pleads.

For a second, I’m taken aback at Zayn’s words. Me? Fall for Harry? I don’t think so.

“You don’t have to worry about that mate.” I almost laugh at his ridiculous request. “Innocent little me falling for a dick like him?” I chuckle halfheartedly.

  
“Yeah, yeah,” he grins to himself but it fades momentarily. “He’d hurt you, Niall.”

“Zayn, he isn’t gay remember?”

“I thought so too.” Zayn shakes his head as if the movement will clear his mind like an etch-a-sketch. “I thought so too.” He repeats.

We continue mercilessly burning through the bag of marshmallows Zayn swiped from my dorm. He progressively stuffs his cheeks like this small snack is the last thing he will ever eat. I stare at him in amusement and he packs yet another treat into his already full mouth.

“Chwube bwuny.” He struggles through the sticky sugar, sending me into a laughing fit.

“You’re an idiot,” I laugh. “Since when are we playing chubby bunny?”

His shoulders shrug in indifference and he swallows the mess.

“You tired kitten?” He inquires while standing to his feet from the rickety fold out chair.

I nod. I really am tired. After all the hiking we did to get up to this isolated little brush of woods and not to mention its half midnight, I’m exhausted.

I quickly discard all the food left strewn across the small camp sight and slip my spare beanie back on. Earlier today, the temperature had been at a bearable enough to peel off my jacket and cap but now it was spiraling back down to frigid quickly.

When I turn back around Zayn is nowhere to be found. I spin around for a few seconds until I see him. I nearly snort at the tips of his feet barely poking out from beneath a small duvet at the entrance of our tent.

I clamber into the tent and quietly as possible but I end up stepping on Zayn and getting sworn at before I’m finally able to settle down in the cramped space. I shuffle under the duvet beside my sleeping friend and embrace his warmth.

It’s quite snug in the tiny tent and I’m rather content with the sleeping arrangements. Zayn’s body heats radiates straight through my being.

After a few minutes I acutely hear the older boy mumble something. I listen for more of his conversation but I figure he’s decided he’s said all he wanted because he remains quiet.

My eyes are beginning to flutter shut and I’m succumbing to a much needed slumber. A few times, I’m awakened from my semi sleep state by a pair of snake green eyes invading my thoughts.

It startles me when Zayn rolls over to face me. I smirk at his peaceful face as well as his slightly pouted lips. I lie there taking in his appearance for a while.

“Niall?” He calls out quietly, his brown eyes still hidden under his eye lids.

“Yeah?” I whisper back.

“I wasn’t trying to tell you who you can and can’t get involved with earlier. I just want you to wait for someone who really cares for you mate.” He breathes faintly.

I open my mouth to start to argue that I would never even consider Harry to begin with but stop myself. “Okay Zayn.”

“Thank you.” His hands find their way to my dyed blond hair and tangle themselves in its length. His fingers expertly find their way to my kitten ears and he rubs over them gently. I can feel the soft purr already rising in my chest.

I close my eyes and sigh, willing myself to drift back off when I feel a slightly chapped set of lips press to my forehead. They disappear as quickly as they appeared and Zayn rolls over to face the opposite direction away from me.

“Goodnight.” I say softly.

 

 

 

I groan loudly at the buzzing my sensitive ears are picking up on, the annoying vibration pounding straight into my cranium.

“What the hell.” I mutter bitterly.

I fumble around under my pillow and yank my phone from underneath it. I squint at the bright white light that is burning my eyes.

After a few seconds I’m able to see that I have a text message. A couple actually. I quickly skim over them.

_Where are you?_

_Are you with Zayn?_

I stare at the phone in my hands.

_Who is this?_ _–N_ I type back hesitantly.

 

They respond almost immediately.

 

_Does it matter? Are you with Zayn?_

_Yes it matters.-N_ I’m slightly annoyed now. First this person wakes me from my sleep then interrogates me.

 

_Answer this first, are you with Zayn? It’s as simple as that._

I sigh but answer anyway, too tired to form a sentence, let alone a proper argument. _Yes.-N_

I wait for them to respond but they don’t. I gruff moodily and shove the phone back under the pillow.

 

 

 

“C’mon lazy ass we are going fishing!” Zayn shakes my shoulder roughly, rousing me from my sleep. It feels like I’ve only been asleep for an hour or so which I wouldn’t be surprised at. I can almost feel the bags drooping under my eyes.

“Fuck you.” I groan.

“No can-do, Perrie would shoot me dead.” He laughs at the middle finger I throw up at him.

“Perrie seems like she’d understand, I mean, your girlfriend deserves to know you’re gay Zayn.”

“Blow me.”

“See?” I chuckle to which Zayn scoffs at.

I reluctantly pull myself from the warmth of the tent and change into an oversized sweatshirt. I slip on some sweatpants and follow an overly excited Zayn.

Soon we end up at a small creek. A few families are scattered here and there down the banks of the creek.

“Damn Niall did you not think to brush your hair? Or teeth for that matter.”

“Shut up I’m tired.” I roll my eyes at him as he begins his lesson in fishing.

 

 

 

“Who the hell likes fishing?”

“Everyone!” Zayn looks at me incredulously.

I continue sucking on my index finger that is now sliced open. Back at the creek, I had somehow managed to hook myself in the hand and Zayn had just pulled out the small hook lodged into my finger.

“Let me see it.” Zayn walks over to where I’m standing idly and removes my finger from my mouth. He examines it, furrowing his eyebrows in concentration. It begins to sting as the open air hits it.

“It hurts.”

“Well did you expect hooking yourself would feel good?”

“Yes.”

He chuckles at my comment and raises my reddened finger to his lips. I watch him closely as he blows on it gently. The cool air soothes the discomfort momentarily. He places a kiss onto it gently before handing my own hand back to me. I take it stupidly.

“Better?” He asks with a small grin on his face.

I nod and grin back at him. “You’re going to be a good dad Zayn.”

He blushes at this.

Zayn doesn’t usually open up and show this soft side of his. Lately, he has been doing it more often. I didn’t even know someone who looked like he did, partied like he did, hung out with who he did, could even have a soft bone in their body.

I was wrong though. Zayn may be sore to look at but he is a genuinely caring person.

 

 

 

_When are you coming back to the dorm?_

I roll my eyes as I read over the text. It’s from the same unknown number as last night.

 

_Tonight. Why should I answer your questions? You can’t seem to answer a single question of mine. -N_

_You’re making this much harder than it has to be._

_Please get the fuck over yourself and stop texting my phone. –N_

_See you then. –H_

I am more than relieved to be back at my own dorm. I’m even happy to see my squeaky old bed that is waiting for me.

We ended up coming back from our camping trip a little early because Zayn forgot the first aid kit back at his dorm. I told him my finger would be fine, after all it was just a cut, but the pus beginning to seep from it didn’t do much convincing for him.

My finger is now bandaged rather tightly in a Scooby Doo band aid and slathered with anti- itch cream. I have no idea what the hell itch cream can do for an infection but I’ll leave the medical stuff to Zayn.

I can hardly stand the sight of blood.

I promptly usher myself into a steamy shower and lather all of the sweat and bug spray off of me. I pay special attention to the kitten fur of my tail, ears, and even the light feathery feline hair that makes up my happy trail.

I silently thank the good lord above he didn’t  make me a hairy hybrid. I shiver in disgust at the mere thought.

After frothing myself up in my banana body wash and letting it swirl off of me, I wrap my towels around my waist and hair routinely and make my way back to my dorm room.

Immediately my nose is greeted with the same enticing aroma I had noticed a few weeks back. “God that smells _good.”_ I purr.

I concentrate on dressing myself, letting the towels drop to the floor.

I hear a gasp and whirl around. I study the room momentarily, when I don’t see anyone I go back to clothing myself.

I tug on my black boxers and run the towel over my tail to get the last remnants of water from it. After dropping it, it instantly pops back up and rubs affectionately over my legs and lower back.

“What the hell is that?”

I turn to see Harry staring wide eyed at me. “N-nothing.” I will my ears to flatten against my hair and tail to hide behind my figure but my body is shaking to much for me to come to grips with my body.

“Nothing?” He steps closer to me; I notice his fists are clenched readily at his sides. “Don’t try to hide it now! Don’t fucking lie to me either! I’m not an idiot!” His voice booms.

I flinch back away from him, tears beginning to pool at the corners of my eyes.

“I-I-“ I stutter, unable to form words.

“You’re sick!” He yells at me. I scramble away from him while he stalks forward. His large hands grip my shoulders and shove me roughly. I sit in a crumpled mess on the floor.

I jump as the door is slammed shut and let the tears fall freely.


	13. 12.

Three days.

It’s been three days since I’ve seen him.

It’s almost as if he’s disappeared altogether.

If I said that I didn’t think his disappearance had anything to do with me, I’d be lying straight through my teeth.

The teachers didn’t bother asking where he was; it’s not like he was the star pupil anyway. His friends didn’t even ask why their mate hadn’t showed up for class the past week.

But I was looking for him. I wasn’t sure what I would do when I found him. Maybe I’d try to reason with the short tempered boy. Maybe I just want to find him and know that he’s still here.

The past few days have flown by in a daze. I’ve kept myself shaded from Zayn knowing that if he saw the state I was in, he’d surely confront me about it.

Every day I look for him in historical sciences, but I’ve yet to see those eyes. Those emotionless, manipulative, beautiful eyes.

After classes I tell myself I won’t do it for the third time this week but I do anyway. I pace around campus looking for an unruly mop of curls, but to no avail.

When it comes to how I feel about Harry, it’s something I truly cannot explain. A complete paradox. I loathe him. But at the same time, I want to be able to go to sleep at night knowing he didn’t run off and do something irrational because cat boy Niall scared the shit out of him.

It’s my entire fault, if he isn’t okay that is.

If I had been a little more careful.

If I had checked the room a little more thoroughly before stripping off.

Harry would still be here. Sure, he’d still be a glaring jack ass, but at least he’d be here.

“What are you thinking so hard about?”

I sigh, recognizing the voice of Zayn by my side.

“Nothing.”

I feel his eyes boaring into the side of my head inquisitively but I ignore him.

“What’s gotten into you lately?” He presses. He slows his pace a little so his long strides are alined with mine.

“Nothing.”

“You’re lying.” He says simply.

I scoff bitterly. “Yeah you would know.”

“Niall I would know, because I know _you._ ”

I stop mid stride to glare at him. I see the confusion painted across his face. I know Zayn is only trying to break down the walls I’ve so well built up, but I’m not ready to let him in. This is my problem not his.

“There you go again with those bullshit fortune cookie sayings, give it a rest.” I reply coldly.

He sighs in frustration, closing his eyes and squeezing the brim of his nose. “Look, I know you’re only being a dick because something’s bothering you so I’m going to leave you alone.” He lays a gentle hand on my shoulder. I peer up at him from the wisps of hair poking out from my cap. “Talk to me when you’re ready, yeah?”

I stare at him for a moment, taking in his words, dumbfounded by his gentleness. I nod slowly.

At this, Zayn walks off into the opposite direction which the second boys dorm is.

I look down and momentarily become engrossed with my shoes. Faded black Chuck Taylor’s that I’ve had since high school stare back at me. I read over Mary’s sloppily written name across the toe of one.

The wind bustles a particularly strong gust through campus and sends shivers through my body. I take one last glance around me, still looking. With no success, I head off to my own dorm room.

_Miss you. –N_

I send off a quick text to Mary upon entering the warmth of my dorm.

_Miss you more cat boy. How’s the wonderful life of college? –M_

_Lovely. –N_

_Sucks huh? –M_

I smile to myself a little while reading Mary’s message aloud. “You got that right.” I answer her as if she is here with me, just like old times.

 

_You got it. I’m ready to come home. :( -N_

_How’s that roommate of yours? –M_

_Haven’t seen him. –N_

I answer truthfully.

 

I connect my phone to its cord in the wall and toe off my shoes.

After I’ve busied myself with a shower and scampered back off to my dorm room, I look around wearily before dropping my towel.

Harry’s hatred filled eyes and shocked expression fill my mind with pictures I’d rather not see. I grimace at the thoughts of how angry he was with me. I can’t fathom what would have caused such rage in the boy.

I can see clearly his furrowed brows and wrinkled forehead coming closer to me.

His deep voice echoing off the walls of the small bedroom.

The acutely visible stubble at the base of his chin.

The veins in his neck popping and contracting as his voice continues to elevate.

His firm grip on my shoulders as he sends me reeling backwards.

His face clouds my dreams through the night and into my restless sleep state.

 

 

Classes seem to drone on and on today. Usually I’m the type of person to enjoy class, soaking up every bit and scrap of information I can. Today though, my mind wanders to other subjects.

“Want to come to mine after school?” Zayn glances over at me from his seat in English Lit.

“Sure.” I shrug my shoulders in compliance and return my semi attention to the professor at the front of the small auditorium type classroom.

I mentally pat myself of the back for studying so far ahead in all my classes at the beginning of the school year. I don’t feel so bad not paying the slightest bit of attention for this sole reason alone.

It is slightly embarrassing though when a professor questions me about the last thing he’s said and I can’t give him a straight answer.

When historical sciences rolls around, I’m not surprised that Harry is once again absent. Today marks the fourth day since our run in at the dorm.

“Has anyone seen Styles?”

“He’s not here.” Louis answers abruptly, almost shouting. I turn to look at him strangely.

“Tomlinson, since you see so adamant to speak for Mr. Styles, why don’t you enlighten us on his whereabouts?” The professor narrows his eyes at Louis from the tops of his bifocals.

“Er he’s sorting some things out?”

“Right, I’m sure that’s exactly what he’s doing.” He shrugs his corduroy clad shoulders. “His grade will suffer for this, not my paycheck.” He tisks.

 

 

 

When I make it to Zayn’s dorm room, I’m greeted in the same loving and breath stealing bear hug.

When he releases me, he beams down at me like I wasn’t a jackass to him yesterday, like I didn’t give him the cold shoulder, like the same happy-go-lucky Zayn I see everyday. “Niall, it’s nice to see you mate.”

“You too.” I smile slightly.

He slips over to his bed in his footie socks and pats a place beside him for me to sit down. Rather, he shoves fifty articles of clothing from his bed and makes a place for me to sit.

I oblige and perch awkwardly beside him. I fidget with my fingers waiting for him to speak.

“Video games?” He suggests.

I nod, thankful for something to keep us busy and the spotlight off of me.

 

 

 

“Oi Horan! I’m whipping your ass!” He yells. I watch his body lean with the character on Halo and nearly laugh out loud. He is physically dodging bullets whizzing past the soldier in the game.

“You’re an absolute idiot.” I laugh loudly, sending a virtual grenade into his unit’s compound.

He stares at the television screen in disbelief as he watches his whole fleet of soldiers be torn to bits before his eyes. “You little-“

The olive toned boy tackles me to the ground, sending the controller in the opposite direction. We clamber onto the wooden floor. My body erupts in uncontrollable laughter as Zayn mumbles obscene profanities at me.

“Get off me.” I hiss at him.

“Aw kitten, are you mad?” He teases while lightly throwing play punches to my gut.

I continue laughing at his ridiculousness until I feel wetness at running down my cheeks. I hadn’t realized I was laughing so hard.

I reach up to wipe them away from my blurred vision but they continue to flow mercilessly. Soon I hear my own laughing cease and a few sniffles become audible.

“Niall, what’s wrong?” Zayn immediately stops his tyranny on my sides and stares at me wide eyed. “Did I do something?”

My mouth is unable to form words, all that comes out are muffle cries and strangled words.

“Shhh babe, tell me what’s wrong.” Zayn’s lengthy arms engulf me and pull me to his chest. He pets my hair down soothingly. “You’re safe Niall, you’re safe with me.”


	14. 13.

I listen to Zayn's gentle coos in my ear as he waits patiently for me to pull myself together. The smell of his cigarette smoke on his jacket presses against my face.  
  
We sit there for a moment; he continues to run fingers through my hair while I let the occasional sniffle out.  
  
I must look like a fool sitting here whining like a baby. I didn't come over here to lay a sob story on Zayn nor did I plan on having him here holding me.  
  
"M'sorry." I whisper quietly.  
  
He pulls me away from his chest to look at me. I fight the urge to look away, not wanting to let him see my bloodshot eyes and tomato red face. "For what?"  
  
"This," I gesture at myself frustrated.  
  
"Nonsense." He shakes his head.  
  
"I suppose you want me to tell you what's wrong now."  
  
He looks at me for a moment with his lips pursed, "Only if you want to, Niall."  
  
I nod at him.  
  
"Want some tea first?" He asks while standing. Before I can answer he is already pulling out a pot from the cabinet. Zayn was one of the lucky few to get a decent sized dorm with a mini kitchen. Unlike my room, which was just big enough for two beds and an armoire, his was quite roomy and spacious.  
  
"Sugar?"  
  
I shake my head no and opt for strong tea.  
  
He makes a disgusted face at me before placing the drink on the stove. He returns to my side within a few minutes and hands me a white mug with bunny ears decorating it. His is equally decorative with a large mustache painted on it.  
  
He sees me eying the mugs strangely and chuckles, "Perrie." His eyes roll playfully. He offers me a hand and pulls me up to his level. Well, almost. He is a good inch or two taller than me. "Wanna talk about it?"  
  
He leads us over to his bed and plops himself down, offering me a seat atop the blanket next to him.  
  
"Yeah," I say slowly.  
  
"Take your time." His gentle voice is comforting as he slings an arm around my narrow shoulders.  
  
I take refuge in Zayn's presence, cuddling into his side. Routinely, his fingers begin softly scratching at my second set of ears.  
  
I breathe deeply. "He knows."  
  
Zayn looks down at me, "Who knows what?"  
  
Not wanting to say his name and reiterate myself. " _He_ knows about  _me_."  
  
"Look Niall I understand it might be hard for you to talk about but you've got to be a little more specific."  
  
"Harry! Harry knows about me Zayn," my voice cracks embarrassingly. "H-harry knows about this." I point to my ears.  
  
"How?" He questions.  
  
"H-he walked in on me while I w-was changing."  
  
Zayn's eyes widen while I continue to explain the events of a few days prior. I pause occasionally to allow him to ask questions but he remains hushed and listens to my tale. Saying it out loud, I realize the magnitude of what's happened. Harry s _aw me._  He saw with his own eyes the extremities attached to my body and now he's gone. He could go at any moment to inform the police or animal control about what he's seen.  
  
If Harry was going to rat me out he would have done it by now. He has the means and motive to. He already despises me for no reason, well, now he's got one reason. I don't understand why he hasn't gone already; maybe he just wants to make me squirm a little.  
  
"Do you think he'll tell?" I ask Zayn, cocking an eyebrow up.  
  
He shakes his head subtly. "He would have already."  
  
Then why doesn't he get on with it? I sigh frustratedly and cup my cheeks in my hands. "Fucking hell."  
  
"That is the understatement of the century." Zayn says.  
  
I nudge his rib cage defensively which he laughs at.  
  
"He will  _not_  lay his hands on you again Niall." He suddenly says. "I'm sorry he hurt you." His grip tightens protectively around my shoulders.  
  
I just stare at the wall. It isn't like Zayn can follow me around like a hound dog and snap at the next person who tries to talk to me. If Harry wanted to be around me, I doubt he would after what happened, he would find a way. He's proved to be  _that guy.  
  
  
  
  
  
_ _____  
  
"Zayn! This is not going to help me!" I whisper-shout at him.  
  
He waves me off with his right hand and tugs me over to the familiar sofa he and his friends are always perched on. I take a seat next to Louis who suddenly became engrossed with texting someone the minute his eyes found mine.  
  
The haze of smoke is just as pungent as ever, the sweet smell of weed penetrating my entirety. If I could slap myself right now and not get looked at like the freak that I am, I'd do it in a heartbeat. After all the times I've told myself I wouldn't go to any more campus parties, I always find myself at one.  
  
"What if he's here?"  
  
Zayn rolls his eyes. "If he hasn't been on campus all week what makes you think he'd show up now?"  
  
"You're right."  
  
"Of course," Zayn smirks. "Want some?"  
  
I just now notice the blunt in between his middle and index finger. I've never tried weed. The sickly smell of it made me cringe and now you expect me to inhale it? "Ah why not." I shrug my shoulders coolly and take the alit doobie from his fingertips. His eyes go wide as he watches me take it, clearly not expecting me to say yes.  
  
"Niall, I was joking-"  
  
"Let me live." I laugh to cover up my nerves. I stare at it for a moment in my hand. "Any specific way I should go about this?"  
  
Zayn laughs and nods, scooting over closer to me and taking the joint between his own fingers and holding up in front of my lips. "When I say inhale, breathe in deeply but do it slow. You don't want to go into a coughing fit. Hold it in for a second then breathe out slowly. S'not hard."  
  
I nod like I've been doing this since I was toddling. I part my lips for him and wait for him to tell me when to breathe.  
  
"Inhale."  
  
At first I forget to go slow and begin to breathe normally, I fight to urge to cough and Zayn rubs my back. "Slow, Niall."  
  
I continue the rest of my drag slowly and let the chemical smoke fill my lungs. It tickles the back of my throat as it travels down my airways.  
  
"Okay, let it go."  
  
I exhale as Zayn instructs. The white cloudy smoke leaving my mouth has the same repulsive scent but it isn't nearly as bad as I thought it'd be. I don't feel different, not that I was expecting an immediate reaction, though I do feel a little light headed like I've been sucking helium.  
  
"What is that?" I say when the cloud has dissipated.  
  
"Cannabis." Louis answers. I turn to find his watching me with an amused expression, glancing at the phone in his hand momentarily.  
  
"Is that the same as weed?" I ask. "Wait are you making a video of this?"  
  
"Er yes and no." Louis locks his phone and shoves it into the pocket of his dark wash jeans.  
  
I shrug him off and turn back to Zayn. "More?"  
  
He nods smugly and passes the drug back to me. I repeat steps one through one hundred a few times until Liam, Louis and Zayn are all laughing at my sudden interest in Louis voice.  
  
"Seriously though, you should go for cross-dressing. You've got the voice and legs for it." I tell Louis.  
  
"That's wonderful Niall." Louis snickers into Liam's shoulder who is sat to his side.  
  
"Ok pot head no more." Zayn leans over and reaches for the blunt in my hand. I give it to him without a fight, only a simple sigh. "Maybe next time?" Zayn notices my subtle disappointment. "You don't want to upset your stomach."  
  
"Kay." I say softly. I turn to Liam and Louis with a new question. "So do you guys fuck?"  
  
Liam turns tomato red and glares at Zayn. "You are never letting him smoke again, understand?" Meanwhile Zayn is laughing much like my own maddening laughter. "And no, we are both straight." Louis nods in confirmation.  
  
"Oh." I say in a slightly disappointed tone even though I'm not the slightest.  
  
"So, want to play spin the bottle?" Louis offers.  
  
"Why so you can get handsy with Vanessa?" I tease. He blushes at this and shakes his head no.  
  
"No, pussy is pussy."  
  
"Lou, watch your mouth." Zayn scolds.  
  
"What's matter Zayn, don't you like pussy?" I ask confused.  
  
Its Liam's turn to laugh now. "Who knew the kid had such a foul mouth?"  
  
Zayn's cheeks tint as pink as they are able to underneath his tan complexion. "Yes Niall but you shouldn't talk about girls like that regardless."  
  
"Kay." I shrug.  
  
Zayn grabs my arm gently and leads me over to the circle where spin the bottle is being set up. I figure it must be the traditional spin the bottle because there isn't a narrow closet door in sight. Just a small pack of teenagers surrounding the empty beer bottle.  
  
I watch as it spins around and around the circle. The other students seem eagerly bashful to plant their lips on one another. Thankfully it hasn't landed on me.  
  
The cloudy light headedness is fleeting my mind which I'm happy of. But with the clarity returning, I am beginning to take in my dreary and unpleasant surroundings. These parties weren't actually that bad when you had something to take you off edge and rid the fear of getting doodled on whilst being passed out on the hard wood floor.  
  
I find myself laughing at Louis expression when he gets to kiss Vanessa. I can't say he looks thrilled but it's considerably better than it was when I asked if he and Liam were together. Or slept together. I can't really remember which I asked.  
  
"Niall, your turn."  
  
I nod and take the bottle, spinning it hard enough to go around the group a few times. When it lands, my fingers stop fidgeting with the shag carpet square I'm sitting on and look up.  
  
I nearly choke when I see his face. His smirk, his dimple, his murky green irises.  
  
"Harry?" I attempt to speak but my voice is suddenly lost somewhere within me.  
  
I feel Zayn stiffen beside me and place a hand on my forearm. I look at him expectantly.  
  
"C'mon Zayn it's just a game." Harry taunts. "No harm no foul right?"  
  
"Hardly." Zayn spits which Harry chuckles darkly at and rolls his eyes.  
  
"Okay then Niall on with it." Louis speaks up. I mentally strike him with an axe.  
  
I dare to glance at Harry who is already leaning forward into the circle, waiting for me to meet him in the middle. I nod to Zayn to say I'm okay and he reluctantly releases his grip on me.  
  
I slowly lean forward. I try not to squirm when the circle goes silent and is intently watching Harry and I. I hadn't even noticed him sit down. How could I be so dense?  
  
Our noses brush together and I freeze. This will be my first time kissing a boy and I'm shaking embarrassingly. He'll probably feel my lips trembling against his. I'm distracted from my thoughts when he speaks.  
  
"Niall." He whispers, his mint breath fanning my face.  
  
I don't hesitate, I just lean in. I awkwardly attach my lips to his, jolting a little from the electric current that runs through my body. Literally. He shocked me when our lips met but Harry doesn't seem to mind. They are slightly moist from what I presume is chapstick. They are a little rough from being chapped but warm and inviting. I sit there, not knowing if I should move or keep this a simple peck.  
  
"Move." Harry breathes against my face.  
  
I part my lips just so, not letting enough room for anything or  _anyone_  to enter but enough so that I can move my lips comfortably against his. I indulge in our mingling breaths.  
  
 _What are you doing?  
  
_ My teeth accidentally tug at his bottom lip. I pull way to apologize but he moves his large hands up to cup my face and keep me still. I jump slightly when I feel his warm tongue lick at my bottom lip in return, my pulse quickening considerably. I wonder if he can hear my heart pounding against my ribs.  
  
 _Stop it, Niall._  
  
But I don't.  
  
I hear the hoots and whistles from the girls surrounding us but my ears tune them out and focus on Harry. I keep my lips closed slightly so he can't pry his way into my mouth. I feel him smile against my lips as he tries yet again to get access but to no avail. Finally, he pulls back, placing a quick peck on my own lips before returning to his seat.  
  
I sit back down from my position on my knees and stare at Harry bewildered.  
  
"You're gay?" Vanessa breaks the uncomfortable silence.


	15. 14.

I turn around to glare at Vanessa. My mouth slacks open to say something rude but I bite my tongue. Instead, Harry speaks up.   
  
"Are you daft?" He asks incredulously. "'Course not."  
  
I look at him taken aback. "What the fuck was that then?"  
  
He just laughs and shrugs his shoulders. "Spin the bottle."  
  
I look at Zayn and bite my lip to keep it from trembling from embarrassment. "We're leaving."  
  
He complies with a nod and stands. I don't bother waiting for him. I'm a few paces ahead of him, weaving in and out of the grinding bodies.  
  
"Niall, wait!" I hear Zayn calling me but I ignore him.  
  
This was a bad idea. A very bad idea.  
  
I can't help but scold myself for my own stupidity and naiveness. What did I think? Harry would miraculously start being nicer to me just because we shared a kiss? After all, it was just a game.  
  
And I'm just stupid, unbelievably stupid. I shove someone out of my path and ignore the glare they throw back at me.  
  
Soon Zayn joins me in the frigid air by his car. I get in and look straight ahead.  
  
"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have brought you. Honestly. I never expected him to be here." Zayn says quietly while turning the key to his car.  
  
"S'not your fault." I say curtly.  
  
He doesn't reply, instead he continues the short drive to my dorm. My mind and nerves are assaulted with the thought of Harry as he drives. What scares me the most, is the fact that I wasn't willing to pull away from the brunette. I would be lying to myself if I said I didn't enjoy kissing Harry.  
  
The more I think about it, the angrier I get. That prick stole my first real kiss. And I let him. I willingly gave my first kiss away to someone who didn't give a second thought about me. But I sure thought about him.  
  
"I'm an idiot." I huff angrily.  
  
"You're not." Zayn replies. "You like him." He finishes, a twang of disappointment in his voice.  
  
"I don't."  
  
"You do."  
  
"Do not."  
  
"Do too." Zayn laughs, I shift over to glare at my best friend. "I can keep this up all day."  
  
I remain silent. Scowling out of the window.  
  
"Look, you need to stay away from him. This is what Harry does Niall, he fucks around with people's heads which is exactly what he is doing to you." We pull to a stop in front of my dork building. "Trust me. I know him better than you do."  
  
"Yep." I shrug Zayn off and exit his car, slamming it back roughly. "Thanks for the ride." I mumble and stalk off.   
  
I'm thankful that the hallways are mostly empty inside the dorm building. I find my room quickly and will myself to remain calm. After a few minutes of pacing I can't rid my head of Harry's demented and taunting voice.  
  
I pull out my phone and compose a new text.  
  
 _Can you come over? -N  
  
Just can't get enough of me can you? .x -H  
  
_I roll my eyes and scoff at the audacity of this boy _.  
  
I'll be over in 10. Better be worth it. -H  
  
_I set my phone down and begin waiting. As time passes my anger doesn't relent. To some level, I'm more angry at myself. But this anger is biased.  
  
As promised, ten minutes later the door handle jiggles a bit before it's swung open. In strides Harry, sporting his arrogant and lopsided smirk.  
  
"Hey kitty." He taunts.  
  
I stand abruptly and walk over to him, pinning him to the back of our door forcefully.  
  
"You," I stare into his dark irises. His smirk wavers when he notices my hostile demeanor. My hands are gripped at his shoulders. "Are so full of yourself. You think you're so much better than everyone else. You are an arrogant bastard and I hate you! You think you can just kiss someone and make a fool out of them like it meant nothing?"  
  
My nails dig into his shoulder blades. "You think you can steal my _first kiss_  and then embarrass me in front of this whole damn school!"  
  
He grimaces at the grip on his shoulders. "Niall-"  
  
"You will stay away from me Harry Styles." I glare. "I'm done with you."  
  
He stares back at me perplexed. He looks as if he is in deep contemplation with himself. "Are you finished?"  
  
I nod and release my grip on him, taking a step back. I can feel the heat flushed over my face.  
  
"I was your first?" He peers at me.  
  
I nod again, not giving this boy anything more.  
  
"Listen Kitten-"  
  
 _Kitten?  
  
_ "Don't call me that." I spit. "Just because you  _saw_  me doesn't mean you can start with the dumb pet names."  
  
He nods slowly. His eyes meet mine again and for a second I see a glimmer of remorse in then. "So did you bring me here for an apology?" His cocky persona returns.  
  
For a moment, I come up empty handed when it comes to a response. I just continue my stare.  
  
"You aren't getting one."  
  
"Fuck you, Harry. You really are the devil."  
  
"And you, are a potty mouth." he chuckles. "I won't apologize for something I enjoyed."  
  
My mouth falls agape. He smirks once again at my reaction. This time, he grips my hips and maneuvers us so that I am now held against the door in his firm grip.  
  
"Harry wh-" I stutter.  
  
"Shut up kitten." He whispers making me flush against my will. He smiles darkly at this. "I love how flustered you get around me." He dips his head down so that his lips are ghosting over the sensitive skin of my neck.  
  
"S-stop."   
  
"I don't think you want me to actually." He laughs while lightly tapping the front of my trousers. I shudder, noticing the newfound tightness in my jeans.  
  
His lips attach to my neck. His tongue grazes over the skin from in between his lips. Suddenly my ears perk up at the faint sucking noise, I feel his begin to suck and nip at my skin.  
  
I attempt once again to push him from me, feeling the bruise start to rise on my neck.   
  
"Bipolar bastard." I breathe out harshly.  
  
Harry chuckles against my neck and removes his mouth from the crook of it.  
  
"That may be true, but I know one thing."  
  
W-what's that?" I mentally curse myself for stuttering yet again.  
  
Before he answers he presses his lips to mine and kisses me roughly. I inhale sharply when my bottom lip is taken between his teeth then released to snap back in place. His thighs press against my own and I groan at the feeling of his own excitement pressing against my leg.  
  
He suddenly pulls back and smirks at me. "You excite me."


	16. 15.

“Um. I-well-“

“Shh,” Harry presses a finger to my stuttering lips. He cranes his neck and pecks my lips once again before releasing his tight grip on my hips. He pulls me away from the door so that it can be reopened and steps one foot out of it so that he is halfway inside and just enough outside to trip anyone who doesn’t see his foot poking out.

“We aren’t finished here.” He whispers deeply then exits.

I let out the breath I didn’t realize I was holding. I stare at the fading sight of Harry’s back exiting our dorm and scratch the back of my neck sort of in a daze. When I run my tongue over the slightly moist skin of my lips, I can still feel the coolness of his lip ring against my lips, the warm puffs of breath he let slip between our lips; the very essence of Harry lingers on me.

My mind doesn’t know what to make of what just happened. My minds’ a mess, scattered, confused, disappointed. While down below, you would think the preacher just told the congregation to stand. I’m annoyed yet dwelling on the tingling that riddles over my skin.

I promised myself and Zayn that I would never go for a person like Harry. I’ve spend most of my freshman year of college loathing him, but now, I’m confused. I refuse to let myself be the sappy teen that falls in love with the very person they hate. That is ridiculous.

But I cannot say that something about Harry and I’s intimate moment didn’t feel right. It was so exhilarating, so wonderfully dangerous. And I wanted more.

A lot more.

I let out a frustrated groan then blush realizing how similar it sounds to the one Harry managed to coax out of me.

Not to say I know much about snogging, or anything of the sort, because I don’t. The whole subject is foreign to me. But I suppose I can’t be too shabby at it by the way Harry practically groped my thighs with his own.

Just thinking about it causes my abdomen to clench and tingle.

I throw myself onto the bed and lie there, suddenly interested in the flaking popcorn effect. My phone buzzes from the desk and I reach over and grab it, skimming over the text.

_Harry didn’t go after you did he? Louis can’t find him @ the party. –Z_

_Have no idea mate. –N_

I reply back. I can’t tell Zayn what happened. Not yet. He would be more disappointed in my actions than I am.

 

 

 

 

School calls me from my slumber Monday morning all too early. I clamber out of bed and switch off the voice of the local radio DJ blaring from my alarm clock. I haven’t seen or spoken to Harry since Friday night when _it_ happened.

Of course, I hadn’t made any effort to speak to the boy anyway. I decided I will talk to him today about what happened between us. I need to know what was going through his mind and more importantly, what was going through mine.

I don’t have feelings for Harry, at least not romantically. The last thing I need is to develop any type of attachment towards him. Although, it would still be nice to have him explain his own thoughts on the subject. Or maybe know if he has feelings for _me_.

I feel my palms prick with sweat at the thought. I almost have to laugh at my own ideas; Harry liking me. How farfetched is that? But if he did somehow manage to catch feelings for me, that could change everything.

I try to shrug off the thoughts and get through my school day. It passes fairly quickly and I’m itching to get to historical sciences. Little butterflies begin to flap around in my belly as I walk down the sidewalk with Zayn.

He is chatting aimlessly like he usually does, about nothing.

“-Vanessa.” I catch the end of his sentence and my ears perk up under my beanie at the name. I have to stop myself from rolling my eyes.

“What’d you say?”

Zayn shakes his head. “You’re so dense Niall.” He pushes my shoulder playfully. “I said, I think we’re going to have a new student today. Louis said it’ll be Vanessa.”

“What?” I narrow my eyebrows at him.

“I _said_ -“

“I know, I know.” I wave my hands for him to shut up. “How is she just now transferring? It’s the middle of the semester. She’s missed half the curriculum!” I exclaim.

Zayn sends me an odd look. “You must not like her.” He tsks.

I shake my head. “No, it isn’t that. She’s just…”

“A whore.” Zayn laughs.

I chuckle at his word choice. “Exactly.”

When we enter the class it is jam packed as usual. Students are standing in the corners conversing while others are raving about last weekend’s party. I take a sip of my iced coffee to make myself look busy while avoiding any conversation that might come my way.

Zayn and I make our way to our usual seats. I smile a little when I spot Harry perched in his seat but that smile quickly disappears. Vanessa is sat on top of Harry’s desk whispering into his ear. I frown when I catch wind of their conversation.

“-so glad you asked me to switch courses baby.” She lightly nips at his prominent collar bones, inked with a blackish blue color.

Harry smirks. “Of course, anything for you _kitten_.”

I freeze at the name. _Kitten_.  That is for me. Or every other person who has fell victim to the curly haired boy’s seductive ways. Anger boils inside me.

Harry’s gaze turns to me. I watch his eyes widen for a moment under my harsh glare but soon his smug grin returns. “Hey sugar lips.”

Vanessa laughs loudly at this, having seen Harry and I kiss at the party.

“What’s the matter, _cat_ got your tongue?” He mocks.

That is it.

I stride over to him, his stupid expression never wavering. Vanessa seems to have picked up on Harry’s smugness because now she is wearing a smirk identical to Harry’s. When I reach his desk I remove the lid from the iced coffee in my grip and empty it onto Harry’s head.

Vanessa squeals as the cold liquid drips into her lap, soaking her fishnet tights.

Harry looks up at me from the brown swirls plastered to his forehead dumbfounded.

“Hi.” I mutter back.

I turn, stomping and shoving my way out of the classroom.

“Horan, where are you-“ The professor attempts to grab my arm and prevent me from leaving.

“Blow me.” I say and tug my arm away.

This is the second time I’ve walked out of class. The second time Harry has embarrassed me in less than seventy two hours. The second time I’ve cried over this boy.

I bat my lashes furiously until I can see clearly. Harry was right. I am naïve. Impossibly naïve.

I take a seat on the concrete ledge that is aligned with a Weeping Willow in the center of the sidewalk, throwing my backpack to the ground with a huff. I quickly wipe my eyes and try to regain my composure.  Of course he doesn’t like me.

 _And I don’t like him_ , I tell myself. I can’t.

“Niall?”

I look up and see Harry walking towards the bench where I’m sat. I stand to leave but he reaches me and pushes me back down.

“What?” I nearly yell. “What could you _possibly_ want?” I try to muster up as much strength in my voice as possible and stand to meet Harry’s eyes.

Harry pushes the damp hair out of his eyes before taking in my appearance. I pray he doesn’t see the redness in my cheeks. I pray he doesn’t see my bloodshot eyes. I pray he doesn’t notice my quivering lip. But even God doesn’t have to tell me that he does.

“Have you been crying?” He reaches out to caress my left arm.

“Don’t.” I warn, not bothering to answer his question.

“Look Niall-“

I roll my eyes, not wanting to stick around long enough to hear his insincere apologies. “Save it.” He remains quiet but keeps his green eyes trained on my blue ones. “You know what’s funny,” I begin. “It’s funny how much you realize you like somebody when you _know_ they don’t like you back, and even had the nerve to _use_ you.”

He bites his lip harshly at my words. I watch as he all but squirms under my stare. I take the opportunity to step closer and take his hands. “I don’t want to hurt because of you, Harry.” I say quietly, frankly I’m amazed at my gentle tone.

He nods ever so slightly and if I hadn’t been watching him so intently I would have missed it. I release his hands and begin walking back to my own dorm, leaving him standing motionlessly on the sidewalk.

As I continue my steady pace, I listen for him to say something. I practically beg him to call my name, to stop me from leaving, to say he wants me. But he doesn’t. I expected it, but what I didn’t expect was for me to realize what I did just now.

I have feelings for Harry.


	17. 16.

{Sexual content is began with **** WARNING  **** and ended with **** END ****}

 

 

I walk to Zayn’s. Classes will be over soon and I’m starting to feel sickly anyway. Hopefully I can get Zayn to brew up a batch of that tea for me and get me some chocolate.

My heartbeat has calmed substantially since leaving Harry standing in the middle of the sidewalk. I had expected him to put up some sort of argument to defend himself, but he hadn’t. My stomach is still churning uneasily from the conversation with him. I told him I like him. Rather, I had _liked_ him.

What has my nerves spiked even more though is the realization that I did have feelings for Harry in the first place. I realized it staring at him. Watching his eyebrows crease and furrow in confusion while I spoke to him, seeing him push his damp ringlets out of his face to see me better, hearing him call my name with that deep and velvety voice that had me reeling. He has me captivated; deeply hooked in his dark mannerisms while still searching for that longing touch and affection.

I wanted Harry Styles. Bad.

Not because of his punkish appearance, not because of his crude judgments, not because of his dickhead personality, but because of his smile, because of his feverish kisses, because of his boldness, because of his harsh but vulnerable eyes, because of his dominant side, because of his dangerousness.

I sigh, frustrated with my own feelings and longings. I should be hating him but on the contrary I’m getting butterflies when our eyes meet.

Harry Styles intrigues me. Deeply.

I just want to know more about him yet have nothing to do with him at the same time. I want to know why he is such a jackass to everyone but can turn on the charm in a matter of seconds. I want to know how he can criticize me for being gay then kiss me like it was the last thing he’d ever do.

To think that he may possibly recuperate the feelings for me is unfathomable. I don’t even want to let myself start to believe or imagine that he could like me back. I cannot get my hopes up for someone who obviously just likes having his way with people.

I reach Zayn’s dorm quickly and let myself in with the spare key I’ve acquired through my friendship with him. He gave it to me a few weeks ago and told me if I ever needed anything to just make myself at home. So that’s exactly what I’m going to do.

I walk to his kitchen and grab a bag of cheese doodles and pack of chocolate muffins, along with that, a can of Sundrop and glass of chocolate milk. I hurry over to his couch with my stash of goodies and plop down; making myself comfortable with his green throw that is draped over the back of the couch.

I kill some time by watching a few Rugrats reruns that play during the day. I watch two episodes until I remember the food sitting in my lap.

I attack the wrappers, suddenly aching with hunger. I all but groan in satisfaction as the chocolate muffin fills my mouth.

“Mate it is just a muffin.”

I jump and Zayn’s voice.

“Shit, you scared me.” I gurgle out between the food packed in my cheeks.

“That’s alright; I needed to wipe out my entire food supply anyways.” He teases.

I shrug my shoulders at him and continue watching my Rugrats. I hear Zayn walk into his kitchen, before long he yells something.

“You ate every single bit of chocolate!”

“Sorry.” I call back.

He returns moments later. “Jesus, you’re worse than Perrie on her period.” He mumbles.

“Shut- Oh shit.”

Zayn plops down beside me and stares at me. “What?”

“What’s the date?” I ask frantically. This cannot be happening now. _Well I guess that would explain why I’ve been so emotional lately…_

Zayn checks his phone. “The eleventh. Why?”

“Nothing!” I say abruptly not wanting to let Zayn in on my kitten problems. “Got to go!”

I gather my things and scurry out of Zayn’s dorm room, I pause before exiting. “Thanks for the food, see you tomorrow!”

I practically sprint back to my own dorm. Once I get there I pounce onto my bed and groan, not wanting to confirm my suspicions. I cautiously unzip my pants avoiding touching any part of lower half as I tug them down and set them on the floor. I’m left to stare at my black boxers hugging my boy bits.

I slowly and painstakingly lower them until the soft kitten hairs of my happy trail are now plainly visible and I can practically see down my boxers. Just as I had fearing, the insides of my black boxers are now splatter painted with a few white spots here and there. Daring to look down at my most private parts, I see that I am already sporting a semi.

How the hell did I not notice that?

I watch as my other hand travels down and palms me through my boxers. I groan loudly and will my hands to stop but now my feline instincts are coming out to play. “Dammit.” I whimper.

I am already beginning to smell the musky and woodsy smell that my body is using to potentially attract someone to mate with. Little does my cat half know; this will not do me any justice.

I roll my eyes and sigh. I begrudgingly remove my hand from on top of my boxers and yank them back up along with my pants. I jog down the shower rooms and hop into an empty stall. I let the ice cold water douse my goose fleshed skin and nearly whimper at the feeling.

The water washes all of the tension away in my lower abdomen and relieves my excitement for the most part. Usually, when going into heat, I have a semi hard on during the duration of the week I’m in heat. That doesn’t mean I’m turned on all of the time but in cat terms, it lets any potential suitor know that I’m ready to rock and roll, for lack of a better term.

I hurry back to my room; avoiding seeing any half naked boys because that is not something I am physically ready to deal with right now. I opt for just slipping on a pair of boxers so that a pair of jeans or any other pants won’t be able to create unneeded friction where I need it most.

I slip under my comforter on my bed and will myself to fall asleep.

**** WARNING ****

_I shudder at the feeling of him gripping me in his large hands and working up and down my unbearably painful yet pleasurable member. I look down at where we are joined and moan._

_“You’re beautiful, baby.” He whispers against my neck while thrusting into me rather roughly._

_I bite harshly on my lip and try to control my hips that are now bucking up to meet his thrusts._

_“Mine.” He nips at my sensitive skin. “All mine.” He continues to press feverish kisses down my neck and to my collar bone. His rhythm becomes more and more sloppy as he pushes impossibly deeper._

_Soon I every nerve in my body is exploding as I travel into my deepest euphoria._

**** END ****

 

 

 

 “Niall.” Someone whispers.

“Shut the fuck up.” I whisper back moodily.

I hear a deep laugh then my name being called again.

I don’t bother answering this time. Not happy with the silent treatment, a pair of hands grips my hips and shakes me. The sensation causes my boxers to rub uncomfortably against my sensitive skin. I groan.

This snaps me out of my sleep state and sends me reeling back on the bed. I can see very clearly, despite it being almost pitch black in the room, probably because my pupils are blown.

I look up to see Harry looming over me, his hands still at my hips. The sight of his face brings back vivid pictures of the dream I had just been unashamedly enjoying judging by the tent in my black boxers.

I don’t think. I do.

I grab Harry’s face in between my hands and pull him to meet my lips. He doesn’t move for a moment, shocked from my roughness. “Kiss me.” I plead against his lips.

Finally, he responds. He kisses me back just as hungrily, his teeth momentarily clattering with mine until he angles his face just so. This time, my tongue is eagerly prying my way into his mouth.  He opens his to give me better access. I moan into his mouth at the feeling of his tongue rubbing patterns onto my own.

**** WARNING ****

 

 

 

The moan must motivate him a little because his hands travel up to my hair and begin tugging on it by the handfuls. His mouth tastes of cinnamon, I note, as I continue to lick and nip at is lips. I pull him up on top of me on the small twin bed so that he is lying in between my thighs.

 _“God.”_ He groans loudly at the feeling of my erect member pressing against his waist through my dampened boxers.

My mind is screaming at me to stop but by this point, I have no control of my body.

“Do something.” I mumble against his lips. He removes his mouth from mine and trails moist kisses down my neck. I feel him nip and suck at my collar bones just like he did in my dream. My hips involuntarily buck at the image.

“What do you want, baby?” He asks against my neck.

“Anything.” I nearly beg. He nods and reaches a hand down to palm my painful problem. Soon his hand is in my boxers and gripping me. I continue bucking into his hand until I’m whimpering every few seconds.

“Not yet.” He removes his hand from my boxers and kisses my forehead gently. “Wait for me.”

I sigh unhappily at the loss of contact. I prop myself up on my elbows and watch as he stands to remove his jeans, shirt, and lastly his boxers. My eyes go wide at the naked boy standing before me. My eyes travel up and down the nooks and crannies of his body, indulging in his inked skin and admiring it. I laugh out loud when I reach his feet.

“What is it, love?” He frowns and for a second he looks insecure.

“You left your socks on.” I smile.

“Problem?” He cocks an eyebrow and smirks at me. I shake my head and he bends down and removes them from his abnormally large feet.

He straightens and walks back over to the bed. I watch him anxiously as he clambers back over to hover over me. He pecks my lips gently and slowly before propping himself up on his elbows on either side of my head. He lets his lower half lie on top of mine. I squeeze my eyes shut tightly when his excitement rubs against my own that is covered in my boxers.

“Open your eyes for me.” He coos and I obey.

He begins to rock his hips down onto mine, all the while kissing me lustfully and deeply. While his tongue licks into my mouth, I’m coming undone underneath him. I moan when his pace picks up substantially. My hips begin grinding up into his.

Soon, pressure is building deep within my abdomen and pulsing down my body.

“Let go.” Harry whispers and kisses my forehead. I take Harry’s invitation and unravel underneath him. Harry follows my example shortly after and lowers himself so that he is now lying flat against me.  He places gentle butterfly kisses up and down my jawline as we both come down from our highs.

**** END ****

 

 

“You…are killing me, kitten.” He says his voice deep with huskiness.

“That’s _my_ name.” I say harshly, taking his face in my hands forcefully so that he has no other option but to look at me.

He pulls back and kisses my cheeks one at a time. “I’m sorry.” He whispers. “I’m so sorry.”

I grunt softly in response to which he chuckles at. I wrap my arms around his back and hold him to me, liking the warmth of him that is radiating through both of our bare chests. His fingers card playfully through my hair and scratch absentmindedly behind the grey ears on my head. They flick and twitch at the contact.

We stare at each other for a while, enjoying each other’s presence. “I’m sorry.” He repeats then cranes his neck down to bury his own head into the crook of my neck. I feel his hot breath tickling my neck causing me to squirm slightly.

His teeth rake over my skin slowly. “Mine.” He whispers. “All mine.” He repeats softly before tangling our limbs and draping an arm over me.


	18. 17.

“Harry.” I nudge him after a while of lying there, listening to his steady breathing.

“Hmm?” He murmurs.

“Why’d you come?” I ask. Not that I am complaining because Jesus, I needed that, but I am curious to say the least. “What about Vanessa?”

I’m glad my heartbeat has simmered down from its nearly audible and uneven thump. I’m sure the tiresome boy can still hear it though from atop my chest where his head is lying. My fingers are cautiously coaxing themselves through his brunette spirals of hair.

“I had to see you.” He whispers. He probably thinks I don’t hear him but, I do. He breathes heavily as if he is asleep but I can tell he is awake by the slight trembles of his hands tickling my sides, waiting for a response.

“I’m glad you came.” I say just loud enough so that he can hear. I feel him relax a little on top of me while I aimlessly trace patterns onto the smoothness of his back.

I watch him curiously as his head pops up momentarily. For a second, I’m bewildered as to what he is doing, but soon his plump lips are pressed to my chest. He presses a kiss there softly before lying back against my chest.

I can’t help but smile at his gesture while I’m lulling off to sleep.

I know what I’m doing is wrong. It has to be. This can’t be right. Harry and I would be doomed from the start if there ever were something between us, any attachment, any caring. Someone is bound to get wounded, and that person is inevitably me.

My fingers absentmindedly pick up a particularly long curl and tug it gently; I release it and watch it coil back into place. I can hear Harry’s faint snores now that he has finally dozed off. No matter how impossibly wrong this is, it feels impossibly good.

I’m infatuated with this side of Harry. This is a Harry I could grow to be quite fond of.

I will myself to fall asleep again and pray that I won’t wake up poking Harry in the morning with the evidence of my vivid fantasies. Or realities. Speaking of arousal, he is still stark naked. I quickly avert my eyes and blush.

“Dear God.” I breathe out.

 

 

 

 

When I awake in the morning, I find myself occupying a rather empty bed. I feel around for a moment and confirm my assumptions. When I crack my eyes open, I’m greeted with the sheets tucked around me tightly like something a mother would do. I peer around the room and find it empty as well. Not even a note is left as a trace of Harry’s presence. No matter how bad I want to, I can’t prove Harry was here last night and chose to spend his night with me instead of with some slag.

A pang somewhere inside me aches as I come to the realization that I was just another normal night for him. This must be what he does all the nights he doesn’t come home. Sleeping around with every broad he comes in a miles radius of and I was an easy target. I provoked him for god sakes.

I all but laugh at myself and my vulnerability.

I force myself to dismiss the thoughts because dwelling on them now will do me no justice. I get ready for today’s classes. Today is an early dismissal day so I will be free shortly after noon to catch up and get ahead in most of my classes. I throw on a pair of black sweatpants, black top, and black hoodie. Some may call me gothic; I call it needing to do laundry.

Classes as usual, pass by with a remarkably lagging speed and I am able to avoid any awkward boners by the occasionally attractive passerby. All of them remind me of my encounter with Harry. Every set of eyes I meet, whether they be brown, blue, or grey, they are always green. Every wave and smile I receive along the sidewalks of campus is a dangerously alluring smirk.

Even Zayn’s kind words remind me of him. I hate him more and more because he makes me want him more and more. Is that possible? Or am I really losing my grip on reality?

Zayn slings and arm over my shoulder and tugs me into his side protectively. “Usually I wouldn’t offer but,” he begins. I cock an eyebrow at him questioningly. “Wanna have a sleepover?” His mouth presses into a firm line and his eyebrows raise slightly as if he wishes to take back what he just said.

I smile at his awkwardness. “Are we five?”

“Eh, I mean, why the hell not?” He shrugs. “We can paint out nails and drink beer and talk about boys.” He holds a hand over his heart dramatically. “And smoke.” He adds.

I nearly cringe. “Smoke? I already don’t have a filter, imagine getting me high on one of those things again.”

Zayn laughs. “That was the funniest shit, Niall you have no idea.”

“You’re right. I don’t.” I mutter, not really able to recall exactly what I babbled out at the last party I attended. “If I’m honest, it really wasn’t that bad after the first drawl or two.”

“Okay weed rat. Time for class.” Zayn playfully shoves me into our last class of the day and takes a seat next to me. I allow myself one glance before I take my seat. When I do see Harry though, his green eyes meet mine but only for less than a second. His gaze disappears as soon as it appears. I sigh heavily, letting my shoulders slump in defeat. I need to forget Harry Styles.

 

 

 

 

 

“Where the fuck is the popcorn, you knob?” I call to Zayn as I route through his cabinets in his dorm room. Despite the spacious setup, this boy has nothing but dust filling his cupboards.

“Don’t eat it.” Zayn shrugs from across the room.

I turn to glare at him. “Who in their right mind doesn’t eat popcorn?”

“Gets stuck in my teeth.” He says nonchalantly. When I continue my glare, a smile spreads across his face. “Stop looking at me like that kitty, even though it is adorable, frowning doesn’t suit you.”

I flip him off and settle on a bag of chips that is idling lying atop his counter. I didn’t have to think twice about taking Zayn up on his offer of a sleepover. I haven’t been able to spend much time with him since our camping trip so I’m actually looking forward to this. We decided beforehand that we would just have a simple movie night and play a game of Grand Theft Auto here and there.

Zayn and I perch ourselves on his two cushioned loveseat, which is harder than you would expect it to be, and pick a random television series to begin on Netflix. I wriggle around uncomfortably until Zayn practically pulls me into his lap.

“Stop fidgeting.” He says, his eyes intently fixed on the television screen.

“Don’t worry you won’t miss much of America’s Next Top Model.” I laugh and poke his cheek.

“Prick.”

“Annoying.” I retort.

“Slob.”

“Tasteless.”

“Dense.”

“Gay!” I yell. He glares at me and doesn’t bother to respond. I laugh as his bottom lip protrudes into a pout. “Aw I’m sorry, you know I’m just kidding.”

“Prick.” He repeats, sending me into a fit of laughter.

We continue watching television until at some point we both doze off.

**** WARNING ****

 

 

“Do you like it like this?” He asks before moving back down on me, hollowing his cheeks so that the whole of his mouth is wrapped around me, his pink lips and velvety tongue fervently sucking and massaging my length.

“Hmmm.” I try my best to nod while my mouth is incapable of forming words. Before I’m sent over the edge, I push him off of me. “I want to try something.” I push him backwards so that he is lying on his back and I am between his legs. I work his black jeans down and slip them off his ankles.

“Wait, kitten. Are you sure?” He asks while pulling me up so that our faces are inches apart, our breaths mingling. I nod and take my lip between my teeth to keep it from quivering with nerves.

I shimmy back down and lick at his hipbones. I let my tongue linger around the rim of his boxers. I coyly watch his reactions to my actions. I delve in the way his eyebrows scrunch when I lick extra-long stripes dangerously close to his boxers.

“Please don’t tease, baby.” He pleads. I smirk up at him and leave one last kitten lick next to his happy trail.

I tug down his boxers and free his arousal…

 

 

**** END ****

I wake with a start, my skin boiling, my back aching, and an obvious problem in my pants. I need to get out of here now. I untangle myself from Zayn who is still sleeping soundly on the couch. I slip on my shoes and scribble a quick note to Zayn saying that I ate something that didn’t settle well and had to go back home.

I walk with a fast pace to my dorm building. The guy at the front desk shakes his head dissaprovingly at me as I walk past. I can only guess it is of an ungodly hour.

“Was she that good?” He scoffs.

“He was mind blowing; you wouldn’t believe the things he did to me.” I return with narrow eyes.

I hurry back up to my dorm and slide my card through the automatic lock and let myself in. I plop down onto my bed and tug my pants down. Unfortunately for me, my problem hasn’t gone down any.

My tail flicks about me with excitement, knowing what I’m about to do. I bit my tongue to keep myself from cursing at it.

**** WARNING ****

Once I’ve got my boxers down, I grasp myself with one hand. The contact sends a wave of relief through my throbbing core. I begin to pump up and down my member with a neediness that is almost shameful.

Almost.

I let the filthy moan and words escape my slightly parted lips as I pick up my pace. Each time I reach the tip, a wave of pleasure rocks through my body. All the images of my dreams are flooding back all at once and god, how I wish they were a reality. To feel Harry’s tongue all over me and have his nails digging into my thighs…

I let out another loud groan at the thought. Soon I’m trembling and my hand is having a hard time keeping a steady pace. My hips have got the message and are already itching to buck up.

“Niall!”


End file.
